Why do we fool ourselves

Why We Fool Ourselves. We prefer to think we perceive the world accurately. It is a process, a covert compromise, between our knowledge and our hopes. A cause for self-deception is our instinct for self-protection. Confronting the realities of our decisions, shortcomings, or boundaries can cause distress. To evade this pain, our brains fabricate narratives and realities or purposely overlook facts. We convince ourselves "It wasn’t my responsibility" or "Everything will be fine," despite the reality being much harsher. This form of self-delusion isn’t necessarily harmful—it serves as a defence safeguarding our ego. An additional factor is hope veiled as illusion. We hold onto positivity despite overwhelming evidence. The brain tends to favour picturing a future that confirms our endeavours, even if indications suggest otherwise. Someone might remain in a deteriorating relationship, continue chasing an objective or overlook warning signals purely because surrendering seems intolerable. In these moments of self-delusion, we soothe ourselves with the false sense of control, concealing our dread of defeat or refusal. Invisible forces from expectations also weave into our private stories. Frequently we persuade ourselves to adopt thoughts or behaviours that match others' anticipations. Family, friends and the wider community lay down codes, and behind the scenes, we convince ourselves of compliance. We often tell ourselves phrases such as "I’m with this" or "This is my choice," while beneath the surface a contrasting reality murmurs. Our need to be accepted. The dread of criticism subtly guides the narratives we create for ourselves. Our own minds subtly undermine us as well. Memory tends to be selective; perception is skewed. We retain what supports our narrative and discard what opposes it. The brain prefers patterns that maintain ease, building realities that seem consistent even when they are partial or deceptive. Within these cognitive tactics, self-deception emerges as a coping mechanism—an unobtrusive, nearly unseen ally. Although deceiving ourselves might offer protection, it can similarly confine us. When concealed falsehoods linger, they hinder development and blur clarity. Put pressure on connections.

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