How To Actually Tell If A Girl Likes You, According To Relationship Experts

Experiencing that first flush of attraction can be exciting; like living in HD, the world seems brighter and full of possibilities. But then comes the big question: Do they feel the same way?

These are a few crucial questions that need answering, particularly for guys making the first move. Misreading the signals can lead to some awkward, face-palm-worthy moments and take you from charming to creepy in short order.

In fact, there is research1 showing that sometimes men tend to overestimate a woman's sexual interest. So, the challenge is real, and it's enough to make one nostalgic for simpler times—think Victorian era when dropping a handkerchief was like sliding into someone's DMs. Sure, those guys had to deal with way less tech and way more top hats, but at least they had a clear signal when someone was into them.

All is not lost, however. There are some solid signs that can indicate a woman's interest, and while no sign is a 100% guarantee, seeing enough of them can be taken as a sneaky but definite signal of reciprocal interest. 

There's frequent and prolonged eye contact

As Al Pacino said, "The eyes, chico, they never lie!” So take note of eye contact—and not just fleeting glances, but prolonged, intense eye contact.

A study from the Psychological Science Journal2 shows, for instance, that extended eye contact is a powerful, non-verbal way of indicating engagement and genuine interest.

If a girl is interested in you, according to relationship coach and sexologist at BedBible, Suzannah Weiss, she will give you all her attention during a conversation. "She will turn towards you. Look at you. They won't bury themselves in their phone or a book, and they'll make eye contact with you," she explains.

If her pupils dilate, it's a subtle physiological response that can indicate attraction as well. If she glances down when your eyes meet, and it happens a few times, it might mean she's a bit nervous or not quite ready to show her cards yet, but she could still be into you.

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To take it a step further, suggests professor and communication expert Beth Ribarsky Ph.D., notice if she is engaging in the triangle method, which is “holding eye contact, then looking to the lips, and back to the eyes."

Mirroring someone's movements can create an empathetic connection, according to research published in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience3. Psychologists call this the "chameleon effect4," which involves mimicking someone's movements, speech patterns, and habits.

Suppose you notice a girl mirroring your body language, like crossing her legs when you cross yours or touching her face when you do. In that case, it's a strong indication of attraction that demonstrates growing affinity. 

As licensed marriage and family therapist Kim Homan, LMFT, tells mindbodygreen, "These subtle physical cues can be subconscious indications of comfort and attraction."

She initiates conversations & seeks out your company 

When you value someone as a social companion, you deliberately seek out their company. In a crowded room, she may sit next to you, join clubs or communities you're a part of, and even plan joint activities and outings. 

"If she frequently initiates conversations, responds promptly to your messages, and seems genuinely interested in your life and opinions, it's a good sign," Homan says, adding, "Communication is the bedrock of any relationship, and her effort in maintaining an ongoing dialogue can signify her interest in deepening the relationship."

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