A LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE

Nick ondieki

Hello, my name is Laban Maribii but my friends call me babyboss. I am a chubby guy who knows a lot of things except one, breaking a girl’s heart. I am an artist, but not the kind that draws, but still, with my words, I will draw your attention. 

I might not be experienced in matters of the heart but my God is a God of love, so I will love you how I was taught in Sunday school, unconditionally.

I might also not be rich at the moment but even with a bicycle, you will be my ride or die. And like a Redcross volunteer, I will do everything you ask for free, you will be my master, and I would be your slave.

I don’t like business, but I will make your love my business, where I will invest all my time, effort, and money just to make you comfortable. 

The Bible says God had to put Adam to sleep to take his rib, but I will gladly give you everything while I am awake. I will make you my best friend and priest to whom I will confess all my sins. 

I am in the process of building a house. Now, I am waiting for you to come and convert it into a home. I already have a blueprint of how you will look in mind, beautiful, wise, and God-fearing, I guess that is what makes me an engineer. 

There is one thing I must apologize in advance for. Behind closed doors, I am not going to be a very good boy. I am going to do you like my assignments. Your body is my degree and I would work very hard to graduate. Like a kid, I will spoil you, and like a mother, I will deliver on every promise I gave you.

For you, I will open a shop of joy; whenever you feel low I sell it to you for free. If I were to choose when we should have met, I would have chosen we meet on the day you were born since I would want to spend every day by your side, but life had other plans. 

I don’t know if it’s weird or crazy but I can see us dancing at our wedding, with everyone happy even your ex. I promise, you will never be lonely since like the Holy Spirit I will walk with you, comfort you, encourage you & support you. 

I can’t risk catching a grenade for you since I don’t want to traumatize you with my death. But I will gladly kill the person holding that grenade before they dare to throw it.

And like a terrorist, I will kidnap your heart and tell the whole world I am responsible. I am already in love with you; I guess we can skip the talking phase and go to the good part. The part where you reply I do. I don’t want our seven kids to continue waiting to be born.

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