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“A glittering, bittersweet vision of an outsider who turned himself into the life and soul of the party. Kilmer-Purcell’s cast is part freak-show, part soap-opera, but his prose is graced with such insight and wit that the laughter is revelatory, and the tears—and there are tears to be shed along this extraordinary journey—are shed for people in whom everybody will find something of themselves. In a word, wonderful.”  — Clive Barker

“Absolutely hilarious and heartbreaking and heartfelt.” —Armistead Maupin, author of Tales

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Book ID Asin: B001CDA3K6
Book Title: I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir
Book Author: Josh Kilmer-Purcell
Book Format and Price:
Book Format Name: Kindle
Book Format Price: $14.99
Book Format Name: Audiobook
Book Format Price: $0.00
Book Format Name: Hardcover
Book Format Price: $28.56
Book Format Name: Paperback
Book Format Price: $11.39
Book Format Name: AudioCD
Book Format Price: $34.99
Book Price: $9.47
Book Category: Books, Politics & Social Sciences, Politics & Government and unknown
Book Rating: 492 ratings

I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir by Josh Kilmer-Purcell Book Review

Name: C. Aleo
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: So once upon a time, there was a drag queen and a male escort...
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 23, 2013
Review: I came to Josh Kilmer-Purcell's memoir I Am Not Myself These Days backwards, first reading his later memoir The Bucolic Plague : How Two Manhattanites Became Gentleman Farmers: An Unconventional Memoir, then seeing him and his partner on the reality show The Amazing Race and finally reading his first memoir, where he details his former life as a NYC drag queen living with a high-end male escort.

Yes, you read that right. High-end male escort. And a drag queen.

I could sum up the book with stories of Kilmer-Purcell's outrageous outfits involving live goldfish as his alter-ego Aquadisiac, or the book's startling opening: a prologue involving his boyfriend holding a knife to him. None of them tell the real story, however.

Reading the memoirs backward gives the reader a different view of the author. You already know where he ends up. While the shock of the prologue is somewhat diluted with that knowledge, you're left even more interested. After all, how did he get from the vodka-soaked drag queen nearly killed by his drug-fueled boyfriend to where he is now?

Kilmer-Purcell has a voice most writers would kill for; you feel when you are reading as if you are sitting down with your best friend and he's telling you his life story without dragging anything out. The book is a quick read, but not fluffy, and he manages to encapsulate the early '90s club scene in a way that should be familiar to those who lived it as well as understandable for those who find it bizarre and somewhat frightening. The writing is so vivid that at times I felt like I had stepped back in time and was immersed in very similar scenes to those he described (although I can honestly say I have never encountered a drunk Andy Dick in a men's room).

Name: JRGlasoe
Rating: 3.0 out of 5 stars
Title: GTS - another gay tale of sadness
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 10, 2019
Review: Clowns make me uneasy. Angry drag queens can unnerve me, but their sense of humor can disarm that, but only if I'm in on the joke. The first half of this story had an uncanny humor - from the descriptions of a life shaped in Wisconsin and his understanding of his mother's misunderstanding of drag vs. trans to the reality of the commercialization of the scene and attendant misuse of drugs and alcohol, but once the shit gets real, the story telling looses. I'm well aware of the quiet destitution that permates any drag show ending. It is often used as a trope to connect any kind of real emotion to the audience, who are complicit in the illusion; we're just a couple of gay friends suffering our unique suffering. Please, laugh with us. But the second half of this story lays bare the illusion with the same historical trope nongay writers and Hollywood (think, the boys in the band) use as the cautionary story telling of gay lives... be gay or a drag queen and you'll end up sad, despondent and if not dead, watching 80s TV series, and then dead. My suspension of hope shattered. My first thought was how could an admittedly overachiever - and commentator of the reality of the illusion we all contribute to - miss the hope in front of him? How could a hystercaly fun and humane beginning (I cried at least twice and out loud laughed 6x more often) end so inhumanely? How could self reflective gay drag queen miss the hope. Cycsim and snark are wonderful tools to open up the reality but once cracked open, truth has to win out and it doesn't always have be pathetic or suicidal or wistful.

Name: GayJay
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: I live for find like these
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on March 13, 2013
Review: I was not familiar with Mr. Kilmer-Purcell until I saw "I Am Not Myself Thesedays" on sale in the Kindle store. Now that I've finished reading it, I feel my life would have not been complete had I not read this book. It is an everyday tale of love between a drag queen and a hooker, but it's delivered with eloquence, wit and heart that it transcends any niche one might try to shove it in. The story is told through the eyes of Aquadisiac, a 20-something drag queen who has just moved to NYC. She recounts her lifestyle, her love and her humor in her 1st year in New York. But it really is so much more - it's an exploration of the definition of love, the meaning of normal the idea of rational behavior. A real-life experiment in how to do everything you should not do and how rewarding that kind of reckless behavior can be. Not rewarding in terms of monetary gains, everlasting love or exemplary progeny, but rewarding in the most basic sense of endurance. Living in the s***tiest possible conditions and still surviving - granted that you are in these murky conditions because of some terrible decisions, still you are making it through. This is something I can appreciate as I have and forever will be the good little choir boy so nothing really goes wrong, but this also reduces the possibility of anything exciting really happening. It is good to make questionable decisions, because one should question everything - and if you can't, well, you can read a book about someone who did just that and live vicariously through them like I do.