Baskadia

Losing of one or both parents is a very devastating wound that carves into the soul, deep leaving behind feeling of abandonment and sorrow.

Left under the care of relatives who are supposed to show you care and give you comfort, making it easier to heal, is a bag of salt added to the wound, when they do the exact opposite. Treating you like you are less human; it feels like losing your sense of worth all over again. Each day is a day to battle for refuge and dignity. Having to watch your relatives take care o their children with all the love and happiness being the air they breathe not caring of how you feel as though you are undeserving of it. The contrast is unbearable, and it stings deeply- a silent scream in your chest that no one seems to hear.

Each morning wondering why you are cast aside, why you are the one expected to endure this injustice in silence. The household echoes with laughter, but none of it is for you. The weight of being the invisible one, less worthy, unloved, cut off from the world, grows heavier with each passing day of your life. And wen they speak to you, its not out of love or care to ask you how you are coping or how you are doing but full of irritation, disgust, as if your very presence is a burden to them. You start questioning your vale, doubting whether you are wort life itself. It is the kind of erosion of spirit that doesn’t heal with time but instead grows and becomes a scar you carry throughout your existence.

When you luckily lose one parent and left under the care of the other, you feel like it will be a bit better than losing both. Only for them to move on with someone new, that creates a pain of neglect and becomes a suffocating reality. Suddenly, the one who held you preciously and led you through your darkest times gets distant, engrossed in their new life leaving you in the past but in the present. You start feeling like a shadow that struggles to be seen, forgotten and overlooked in your own home. The warmth that held and defined the relationship between you and your remaining parent turns cold, fully replaced by the new member of the family.

As the new partner comes into the picture maybe with his family, you are pushed even further away to the edges, as though you no longer have a place in their space. The space that was once your safe space, the space that was your safe haven, your little heaven on earth, your rem come true kind of space with the ones you truly loved. The love you once knew is now replaced with ice cold silence. You find yourself longing for the smallest sign of remembrance or existence but it never comes. Instead, you are left to work all over the place as a stranger who was employed to work for them without wages. You are let to fend for yourself emotionally and mentally while physically is all about the remains.

This kind of emotional damage runs deep-it plants seeds of loneliness and security that grow into a forest of isolation. It’s not just about losing your parents its about losing the sense of being loved, valued and seen. It’s a pain that leaves you questioning your place in the world, making you wonder why you were brought in this phase of the earth in the first place.