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An inspiring guide to help you through the mourning process, including a comprehensive resource listing and a chapter on finding professional help and support groups.

“The most comprehensive, insightful, and helpful volume on loss and survival.”—Rabbi Dr. Earl A. Grollman, author of Living When a Loved One Has Died

Mourning the death of a loved one is a process all of us will go through at one time or another. But wherever the death is sudden or anticipated, few of us are prepared for it or for the gr

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Book ID Asin: 0553352695
Book Title: How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies
Book Author: Therese A. Rando
Book Format and Price:
Book Format Name: Paperback
Book Format Price: $15.99
Book Format Name: Spiralbound
Book Format Price: from$34.99
Book Price: $15.99
Book Category: Books, Self-Help, Death & Grief and unknown
Book Rating: 726 ratings

How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando Book Review

Name: Delar Kour Singh
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: How to Go on living When Someone You Love Dies – Very Helpful!
Date: Reviewed in the United States on January 29, 2021
Review: This book by Rando will help you if you are facing the death of a loved one. The book is divided into five parts. These parts are : (1) Learning about grief; (2) Grieving different forms of death; (3) Grieving and your family; (4) Resolving your grief; and (5) Getting additional help. The author ascertains that your response to the death of loved one will be influenced by a number of factors such as characteristics and meaning of the lost relationship, your personal characteristics like coping behaviors, personality, and mental health as well as specific circumstances of the death. Further, your grief will take longer than most people think. Your grief will show itself in all spheres of life; psychological, social, and physical. You will grieve for many things both symbolic and tangible, not just the death alone. You will have some identity confusion as a result of this major loss. You may experience a combination of anger, and depression. You may feel that you have lost parts of yourself. According to Rando, death of a child is one of the very most difficult to cope with. Parents may feel survivor’s guilt, their child they loved has died and they continue to live. Death of a child is an out of order death. It increases the losses to self usually felt after the death of anyone close. With the death of your child, you lose a very special love source- someone who needs, depends upon, admires, and appreciates you in a unique and gratifying way. This might lower your self-esteem. Child’s death puts an end to parent-child bond, the most intense bond in this world. This separation pain can be extremely severe. Rando recommends that you work on resolving your grief. The aurhor makes a number of suggestions such as give yourself permission to feel your loss, feel the sadness, sorrow, and other feelings, give them some form of expression, accept social support, and find ways to make this death meaningful to you. Further, death has separated you from your loved one, it has not ended your relationship. Now you need to work on a renewed sense of purpose in your life. You will always have this pain, this scar on your psyche, but you can move forward. You can invest your emotional energies on other people, goals, pursuits, taking your loved one with you along with your new sense of self and new way of relating to the world.
Truly, a useful resource. I recommend it to you.

Name: chrispark
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: After thirty years, still one of the best books out there to help families through grief!
Date: Reviewed in the United States on June 29, 2020
Review: I picked up Therese Rando's classic when my mother died in 1992. I was in my mid-thirties, with a toddler son, woefully unprepared for a death in the family. My grandparents had passed before I could know them, so the first time I encountered death was my mother's: the most primal loss of all. Mom was not well, but not yet eighty, and her sudden death of congestive heart failure utterly stunned me.

Dr. Rando's gentle guide was the perfect primer for the experience of bereavement, because I had not the faintest idea of what to expect. It gave me a sense of structure and process, kind of a roadmap to help me navigate through this dark wood. I had an experienced psychotherapist, but this book gave me the background to supplement our one-on-one work. Over the years, I took courses in bereavement and became a certified grief counselor, volunteering for non-profit organizations. I recommended Dr. Rando's book to many, and have never found a better guide for families experiencing the pain of mourning.

Over the past thirty years, discussion of death has fortunately become more mainstream in our culture, which I view as an extremely supportive development. In addition, probably over the past twenty years, interest in the afterlife, credible scientific research on soul survival phenomena, and mainstream belief in afterlife communications has grown exponentially. My own conception of death has changed significantly since my mother's passing, after connecting with her and other deceased loved ones through evidential mediums. Rather thinking of death as a final goodbye, I view it as a change of format, like H20 taking the form of air or water rather than ice. That does not mean death is not a painful loss; it certainly is. But there is more hopefulness in the belief that a deceased loved one, while invisible, is still a conscious presence whom we can access.

Dr. Rando does not touch on afterlife beliefs in her book, yet I still recommend it to those who are experiencing loss, especially for the first time. I feel it is critical for a person to process the reality of tangible loss before engaging in hopes of spiritual contact. It does disservice to the rite of passage of experiencing loss to try to "cancel it out" by saying, "Don't worry, she just walked from one room to another." I believe in a balance between processing bereavement loss in a healthy way and, perhaps months or years later, enjoying the comforting reassurance that one's deceased loved ones are still nearby on the other side of the veil.