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True fear is a gift. Unwarranted fear is a curse. Learn how to tell the difference.

A date won't take "no" for an answer. The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.

In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, who

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Book ID Asin: 0440508835
Book Title: The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence
Book Author: Gavin de Becker
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Book Format Price: $5.63
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Book Price: $20.90
Book Category: Books, Politics & Social Sciences, Social Sciences and unknown
Book Rating: 7,967 ratings

The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence by Gavin de Becker Book Review

Name: Lo Faszt
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: REQUIRED READING FOR ALL WOMEN - here's my story
Date: Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2019
Review: Years ago, I had a strange encounter. My car was stalled in heavy traffic, I pushed it onto a side street (I'm a guy) and tried to restart it. A guy showed up (older and slender) offering help. I refused his help but the hung around trying anyway. Said he saw me and had his wife drop him off to assist and she'd be back in a minute. She never came back for him. I got the car started and felt obligated to give the guy a lift, he lived two streets over.

When he got in the car, I suddenly felt DANGER radiating at me from the passenger seat. It actually felt like a heat lamp burning my skin, a physical presence I'd never felt before or since. I went to FULL RED ALERT, and was on edge until I got him to his house. I let him out with the car in reverse and my foot ready to stomp the gas. He held his hand out for a shake I didn't feel like, but we're trained to BE POLITE so I took it. This wussy looking guy had a grip like iron. As I left, the danger feeling stopped and I eventually forgot about it.

Fast forward to finding this book. As I read it, that incident came back to mind. I realized he had lied repeatedly and tried to manipulate me, taking advantage of my society-trained compulsion to be "nice" to a pushy stranger. My subconscious noticed all the things I ignored, added them up and decided he was trouble. Bigger trouble than I'd ever met and it made damn sure I paid attention.

And that's exactly what this book teaches you to do. LISTEN to your instincts and OBEY them, don't endanger yourself to "be polite" to someone who makes you nervous. That danger signal may have saved my life, and I'm not an easy target.

I have bought, loaned and given away at least ten copies of this book. Everyone thanks me profusely and passes it on to someone else they care about. Get it for you, get it for a loved one. Get it for the women in your life, who are unfortunately preferred targets for criminals. Ignore the second half, it's all about workplace and profiling. But the first half could save your life, or that of someone you love. BUY IT NOW.

Name: Buck A
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Everyone, especially women, should read this book and learn to trust the power of your intuition
Date: Reviewed in the United States on December 25, 2016
Review: I spent 20 years on the streets in local law enforcement. I always felt that the Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO) we served on stalkers and spousal abusers were as worthless, in most cases, as the paper they were written on. Usually they simply served as a salve to sooth our justice system's guilt over unwillingness or inability to take strong and immediate action, or develop alternative solutions. As Gavin de Becker so aptly points out, when it comes to committed stalkers and abusers, not only are they not afraid of a piece of paper, it incents them to even a higher degree of activity and perhaps violence. The author makes an excellent case that we should be much more judicious in evaluating such cases against a threat matrix and respond in different ways depending on the nature of the threat.

I also greatly appreciate the author's discussion of the origins of fear and how important it has been in allowing mankind to develop. In addition to the twenty years I spent in law enforcement, I am also a Certified Body Language trainer and teach the power of nonverbal communication. As research has shown, what we call women's intuition is in reality the fact that women, on average, are far better at picking up nonverbal cues than men. That "intuition" was absolutely essential for the females of our species to survive in a very hostile world, where they were of slighter stature and needed to quickly detect threats around them. As the primary caregiver to children they also needed to be able to effectively interpret the cues and needs of infants and small children before spoken language.

One interesting study involved showing short film clips with the sound turned off to groups of men and women. Women scored an incredible 87% accuracy in evaluating the situation shown in the video. Afraid guys we only scored 42%. fMRI scans reveal women use 14-16 regions of their brains during communication, while men only 4-6 areas (most women probably would dispute giving us that much credit-:)

In modern society, in the interest of being "polite", we often suppress our natural intuition, our gut feelings. Back in my police career we didn't even have a term called Body Language. We only knew it as "street-smarts". One of my great fears has to do with my beautiful wife's suppression of her natural intuition around strangers, in the interest of being polite and non-judgemental. The nature of my our respective careers requires us to live in a dense urban area, surrounded by all sorts of threats. Dark parking lots, underground garages, elevators and streets filled with street people and drug addicts. While our building is very secure, once you are on the streets it's a whole different ball game. She has terrific intuition when she uses it. She is like a perfectly honed tuning fork when she is willing to trust her intuition, but due to her kind and trusting nature, she often suppresses it in the interest of being all-inclusive and accepting.

Gavin de Becker's loud message to women, Trust your gut, Don't suppress your intuition, Don't worry about hurting some stranger's feelings is a powerful one. It is my hope that my wife and every woman will be willing to read the book, reflect on all the powerful stories in The Gift of Fear, including the author's personal story.

Name: Bean
Rating: 2.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Do not recommend. It was published 20 years ago and has not been updated.
Date: Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2018
Review: This book was so hard to read. The writing is boring and I found myself screening through the pages and skipping entire chapters. Furthermore, it was published in 1998 and has not been updated. A lot of the examples (stalkers, or other dangerous situations) included people sending, receiving mail. Like snail mail! Who receives regular letters anymore??? No mention of the Web, email, forums, how it can be used to find info about us. How to be careful with the people we encounter online, dating websites...
The world has changed a lot in the past 20 years. The dangers or the way we should be using our intuition or protect ourselves have changed and evolved. But this book has not evolved or being updated at all.