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I am a recovering ass.

Of course, at times I still am one, but it's less often. I now recognize my “assness” more quickly, recalibrate, and take action to make amends for my poor behavior. It's important to acknowledge the truth of our mistakes without turning towards self-contempt, shame, or beating ourselves up for the harm we have caused to those we love. Yet, we must take full responsibility for our poor behavior and fully own what we have done and learn to live differently, becoming men who bring life rather than further heartache.

This book is just as much for me as it is for you. I am in the process of learning to become

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Book ID Asin: B09QJ8WGR4
Book Title: How Not to Be an *SS: Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man
Book Author: Andrew J. Bauman
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Book Format Name: Kindle
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Book Format Name: Audiobook
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Book Format Name: Paperback
Book Format Price: $14.99
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Book Category: Books, Education & Teaching, Schools & Teaching and unknown
Book Rating: 162 ratings

How Not to Be an *SS: Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man by Andrew J. Bauman Book Review

Name: Clayton L
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars If God can speak through an *ss he can speak through you and me!
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 21, 2023
Review: I love the Baumans, they are a lovely couple with an awesome story and amazing marriage. After reading his book ‘Stumbling Towards Wholeness’ I had to read more of his work. Great food for thought and insight on the wounds and baggage we all carry. A fantastic resource for anyone single, in relationship (intimate or friendly) and of course married couples. It’s not too late for us to become SAFE & STRONG MEN

Name: Amazon Customer
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars Not just for men!
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2023
Review: Since getting my husband this book for Christmas, we have loaned it to and bought copies for many friends and family members. My sister and I have found this book especially helpful for women and it’s a resource we wished we had early on in our marriages as a gauge for what is and isn’t acceptable behavior from our husbands. The term “safe man” had been such a foreign concept but is now a standard I hold for my husband and a goal post for my sons.

Name: Mommaof2
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars I am so thankful for this book
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 7, 2022
Review: "How to not be an Ass" has helped me validate and understand alot of pain. It has given me higher standards for myself as an individual. It has helped me see some of my wounds I didn't understand. It has shown me its ok to take time to heal. I read it in 3 days while being sick. I feel good about the time I spent on it, along with the pauses to process the pain and a few crying sessions along with many teardrops along the way. This book is geared towards men, but has help for women who have experienced infidelity and broken trust in their relationships. It has hope for our broken world. As I was reading I was able to add to my book list and be comforted in the fact that my expectations are not too high. Reading some of the stories helped me feel less alone. This book helped me see that healing is possible. This man healed, then so can others. He gives hope to men while addressing their "assness". He has a sense of humor which made me laugh a few times throughout the book. Thank you Andrew for being raw and real. Thank you for changing your life and being an example. Thank you for standing up for how our world is backwards and explaining what it means to be a team. Thank you for this book that has helped encourage more hope for my family. I'm looking forward to recommending it to more people. I hope more women pick this book up to help them pick a safe man and help them heal from the assessment. I hope men pick this book up to understand and become more. Regardless if you're a man or women, you will be able to see ore of your assess by reading this book and give yourself stepping stones to growth. I appreciate the helpful information to help our relationship and support it for the long haul. I hope more people will read thus as anyone can benefit regardless of gender.

Name: Paula zasada
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars Awesome information!
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2023
Review: I loved that Andrew was humble enough to realize his faults. He took ownership of being an ass and learned how to change his ways. He shares what it looks like to be an ass and how not to be one. I loved the book. It was very informative.

Name: T Hartzog
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars SO helpful…highly recommend
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 22, 2023
Review: This book provides so much insight into the differences between safe and healthy men vs dangerous & unhealthy men. Very well written and researched. We have passed this on to so many groups, friends, and even therapists. All the feedback has been great. Highly recommend.

Name: Beanblossom’s
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars Every one could benefit from reading this book
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 22, 2022
Review: I bought this book for my husband for Christmas on the off chance that this might finally be the thing that makes it all click for him. It just might be the thing that helps him discover he can't ever truly change until he realizes he can't just make singular changes but he must change his heart. However, I wasn't certain about putting it under the tree given the title and subject matter. The book arrived, he walked out to run errands, I opened the package and went to wrap the book for Christmas. No sooner had I started flipping through did I find myself rooted to the same spot for just under an hour as I read all 184 pages straight through. I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt encouraged. I cried, I nodded along and I felt so grieved and understood at the same time. It's an excellent book. Every word is God's truth. I turned to my right and a piece of wrapping paper the exact size I needed was lying next to me. Needless to say I wrapped the book and it's now under the tree. Only time will tell if it has the same impact on him as it did on me but I know I already got my money's worth.

Name: Matt
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars Vital Book
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 8, 2022
Review: Andrew's book is important and necessary.

In my eyes, Andrew accomplishes two things extremely well.

1. He shows that toxic masculinity is, in fact, a problem. There is a power difference between genders and part of becoming a good and safe man is realizing that there is a power difference, that women have suffered from this imbalance, and to accept one own's complicity in this power distinction.

2. He presents a picture of what healthy and safe masculinity can and may look like. He presents a picture of what strength looks like.

This book, along with "From Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality" by Richard Rohr, was important for me to begin aspiring to not only be less of an ass but a good man.

This is a humbling, painful read. The book serves as an accusation, like Prophet Nathan saying "You are the man" to King David. But in that accusation, there is a path to new life and purpose.
Thank you, Andrew, for your courage, honesty, and wisdom. I'm extremely grateful for your book and your work.

Name: carolandmicah
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: .0 out of 5 stars Good read for any man interested in improving their empathy.
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 20, 2023
Review: My adult son needed this book to try to understand his father. It worked. He has been no contact for almost two years.