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This is Oh, the Places You'll Never Go--the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate's future. And what he or she can or can't do about it.

"This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That's not what you need. You need a warning."
     So begins Carl Hiaasen's attempt to prepare young men and women for their future.

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Book ID Asin: 0525655018
Book Title: Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear
Book Author: Carl Hiaasen,Roz Chast
Book Format and Price:
Book Format Name: Kindle
Book Format Price: $9.99
Book Format Name: Audiobook
Book Format Price: $0.00
Book Format Name: Hardcover
Book Format Price: $8.79
Book Price: $8.79
Book Category: Books, Literature & Fiction, History & Criticism and unknown
Book Rating: 369 ratings

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear by Carl Hiaasen,Roz Chast Book Review

Name: ParrotLady
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: For The College Graduate--Carl's Common Sense Advice
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 11, 2018
Review: As a fan of Carl's other work, I wanted to read this too. I have a nephew and nieces graduating from high school and was considering this as a gift. But it really is not for the high school graduates--it's aimed at college graduates. It offers sensible advice instead of the usual rainbow and unicorn speeches delivered at commencement. There is a liberal slant to Carl's observations--no surprise there--and the beginning of the book has some profanity, so if that will be a problem, keep it in mind. All in all it's exactly what I would expect Carl to say to a bunch of twenty-somethings eager to get on with the ceremony so they can go out and start celebrating the end of four-plus glorious years in college.

Name: Ann
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Entertaining and truthful
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 12, 2022
Review: It’s the anti- “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”. Dose of reality with a double dose of humor. Good gift for a graduate from high school or college.

Name: Diana H. Maine
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: a wonderful 'speech'
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 31, 2018
Review: ASSUME THE WORST: THE GRADUATION SPEECH YOU’LL NEVER HEAR by Carl Hiaasen, with illustrations by Roz Chast, is a hilarious and very touching essay.
I could copy the entire essay with my underlinings and notes. Some of my favorite notes are:
“Force yourself to experiment with kindness, even when the impulse eludes you.”
“Corruption is another dreary fact of life, and the worst scoundrels are often likable and smooth. Try not to fall for their act. From the local zoning board to the halls of Congress, your mistrust will seldom be misplaced.” (Cynic that I am, this is my favorite quote.)

A wonderful graduation ‘speech’ - one everyone should hear and adhere to, no matter one’s age.

Name: Cris D
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: The Best Life Lessons!
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 9, 2022
Review: I have read books by both the author and illustrator, so when I found this little book, I had to grab it! Turns out it was a winner! It’s some true life lessons the current generation needs to hear and sadly the rest of the generations too! Life is hard, and it sucks, but hey we will get it through it!

Name: Pete
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Finally a “Real World” Graduation Speech
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 29, 2022
Review: Loved the book and intend to give it to my son graduating from college. Carl Hiaasen gives realistic advice to graduates in this mock speech. He uses humor to drive his points home and he is spot on.

Name: devoted husband
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Hiaasen and Chast take on soothing graduation-ceremony lies
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on April 12, 2018
Review: Dave Barry, Carl Hiaasen's longtime friend and colleague, once described him as being "somewhat cynical in the same way we would say that the universe is somewhat large". These tendencies are on display in "Assume the Worst", written by Hiaasen and illustrated by Roz Chast. How much you enjoy this little book depends on where you fall on the cynic-realist-optimist spectrum. I loved it, and have re-read three times in the days since I received it in the mail. The insights are sharp, and a much-needed rejoinder to the pablum served up at many graduation ceremonies. The pairing with Chast is inspired; my favorite is her graph of expectations versus age. This is not to say that the perspective is always on point. For example, in describing how we have treated each other Hiaasen says that "we torment and slaughter just as wantonly - and with record body counts". Writers such as Stephen Pinker 

Name: Mary Beams
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: ADVICE I SHOULD HAVE HAD 50 YEARS AGO
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on September 3, 2020
Review: I can’t get enough of Hiassen. My only disappointment is this is too short. I also cannot get enough of Roz Chast; the combination of these two geniuses is perfectly delightful. I am one of those who would give the Pollyanna speech, and the advice here is remarkably practical and sane. Don’t miss it!

Name: Trish
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Cute in a jaded way.
Date: Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on February 24, 2022
Review: Hiaasen never fails to bring up a giggle from deep inside. He speaks the truth pretty profoundly with a swath of black humor layered between his words. Sarcasm is a genre that few people master as well as he continues to do. Bravo sir,bravo.