Baskadia

Emotionally distressed and undiagnosed ADHD

Feeling like outrunning the flood of grief

Wishing that I never raised myself all by myself

Maybe I'm different from the way I am right now

Sometimes I blamed God for building me from the flaws of others

Build entire personality from the scratch

But right now I should take the blame for existing

It always bothers me and asking myself, should I live or should I die but I don't have an option on my hand and somewhat I agree to die anyways

Writing poems to someone who has the same shit like mine and let them feel what I feel, I think I'm too cruel to add salt in the wound and add insult to injuries for saying what really obvious

Singing the songs at the top of my lungs wishing that someone could understand what I really am cause I'm different from the way I show them

" YOU SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD" i always hear that actually I really tired of hearing this tagline which make me sick cause I really fucking tried to be good but not the best

Trying everything and achieving goals without any help cause I'm too scared that in the back of my mind you settle with me cause I'm just the only person who is near

I remember that day a friend of mine said " Do you have anything that you can't do? You know everything from cooking, crocheting, books and also you have better grades" from that moment, I know what I should say to him, it should be thank you or humble myself but I stayed silent cause what's the point of saying thank you to someone when I really feel in pain