Baskadia

Ignore everything you were told. Forget everything you think you know. Redesign your mindset. Marriage is complex. Disregard every information out there. Do not rely solely on seaming compendium of knowledge grafted in pages and chapters. Identify when people mistaken opinions for facts or mix personal experience with common logical sense in a bid to provide counsel on marital issues. Truth is, there is no uniform or predefined outcome in conjugal matters. What works for one may not necessarily work for another. There is no universal law on the subject matter aside

the law enacted by its inventor (God).

We have configured our expectations to align with the idea that every good relationship leads to marriage. But if all relationships lead to marriage, where does marriage itself lead? Of cause They will tell you marriage is a journey, but no one will ever tell you the destination or where the journey leads. Isn’t a marriage without purpose just as bad as a relationship that leads nowhere or even worse?

Now tell me:

If marital bond were so strong, why does it require witnesses. Isn’t it written in your holy books that at the testimony of two, a case is established? Why witnesses if truly the couple have faith in the testimony of each other before the Alter?

If marriage is such a bliss, how did tolerance become the watchword and requisite for its workability. I’m just wondering in real time how to link the wide gap, or has bliss suddenly loose its enjoyability to tolerability?

If marriage is so “ideal” as portrayed, how comes the wedding excitement does not linger throughout the span of marriage which supposedly is “lifetime”? Or maybe “ideal” is such a strong word to describe marriage since the excitement fades with time and mixes with bitterness and anger over unmet needs arising from individual

differences and incompatibilities.

I wonder if what they really mean is “welcome to trouble”, when they bid you that “happy married life!”. Why coat it in sugar then, since reality will eventually playout someday when you wake up to realize you probably ventured into something bigger than you and that it’s not always as rosy as they made it look.

Isn’t it disappointing to realize that you need help at some point and marriage is perhaps the most popular prescription, but there is no guarantee you’ll always get help from your supposed helpmate. Reality!

If marriage is such a fulfilment and makes one complete, how do you explain the rising incidence of adultery, and infidelity in the world? How do you reconcile an act that is universally forbidden yet universally practiced. Aha! Its either something is missing or that marriage does not solve that fulfilment equation.

To what end then do people get married?

I’ll tell you in few lines.

Marriage does not promise roses without thorns, marriage does not promise gold on a platter without excavation. Marriage does not promise rest without work.

Marriage is work; marriage is labor. And if there is dignity in labor, then marriage is dignity.

Put in the work, then enjoy the reward

Anthony Cyril Nkwor