Baskadia

I had a lot of problems growing up as a child .Broken home isn't excluded but wasn't the main complication either.

at the age of seven i had faced a lot that not even all the adults could endure .A seven year old being treated like an outcast for

having Nocturnal Enuresis isn't as sweet as all pies would taste especially being the third born in a village of an African home ,trust me.following your little sister's

orders around cause she would always threaten to spill your beans in public wasn't as easy as it sounds ,enduring her little torture everyday to me,was more than hell

because she maltreats you and you cant set her straight because of the blackmail .

You might being asking yourself "Is it why she calls herself a problematic child?", stay with me and you might get the answer you're looking for .

sniffs the unbearable pain from the blue black beating i just took from my mom is killing me !

back to the story ,That wasn't the only case back then my elder brother would always mock me because I used to eat a lot .He would always give me the look

anytime were eating and I'm still eating cause I wasn't yet satisfied "Foodian"he said with rage in his eyes .and at that point in life all I could do was to sit under

the sun with following thoughts circulating in my mind "God are you there?""Why did you create me like this ?""why do i have a lot of faults as compared to my perfect

siblings ?""was I a mistake ?" hmm ,that was when I first had the idea of killing myself but could not because I was scared of the physical pain I would go through and the thoughts

of God not wanting me with him .Funny right ?LOL

Growing up ,my mom had to leave my siblings and I with my Grandma every vacation and over there,we were maltreated by our Aunt in-law who was only wanted the

best for her own ,yeah .Because my Grandma had a shop that we are always in ,I developed a habit of taking things in the shop that were not mine.My auntie told my Grandma

about it ,they called all my cousins and lashed me black and blue in front of them .When my mom later came back they told her and when we got home that night,she made me

remove all my cloths and told my brothers to lie me on a table they did that and the act that later followed was just cane lashes on my body and buttocks .

When my mom finished with the beatings ,she gave me an ointment to apply on my wounds .She would always give me the nastiest. beatings one could ever think of

and I would always cry after them and question God about my existence .Enduring such trauma only left me with a quote that goes "its family by society ."yes !I grew up

with a lot of fear in my heart of my mom .And that deep feeling of not belonging .At that point in time I didn't like matters concerning God cause I thought he intentionally

created me like this with a lot of problems.The same activities went on and I became introvert .Years later despite being one of the best in Academics ,I didn't do well

in my BECE ,you must thinking how I failed even when i was one of the class best .Well my mom would always make me work in her shop every now and then

I even had to miss a lot of lessons because of the same shop .I would always use my phone in the shop when i was bored but shell come and complain about that

and that I should take my book and learn whiles working .How can that work out?

Because I didn't do really well and My mom had to pay for protocol in one of the best schools in Ghana ,she would always remind me how a failure I am and so had to

learn .I did as she wanted always digesting my book ,not going out for break because I was solving .Not eating in the mornings cause Id fall asleep when the teacher

is teaching .My habit of not eating through out the day wasn't affecting me in any bad way cause I would always buy food from the canteen after school is over .My little sister

also reminded me how I am wasting my mothers money cause she thinks I don't learn enough .I admit I could've done better but till date I don't understand why I didn't .

Even though no one except my roommates and classmates would know if I was in school or not ,The rest who see me once in a while can admit that I am nicest person alive .

I made sure those around me would feel better about themselves and all that .I did all this cause when I come home ,its always the loser who doesn't learn ,a failure.

After spending one year in school I made two close friends Anita and Lionel they were very nice and understanding ,both God fearing and yet dirty minded.They were both

brilliant students and gentle .I took their numbers and they did same .It was another blissful vacation ,and everyone was excited about going home but not me cause I knew

what would go on from day one to the last day .When we got home Anita and Lionel texted me ,and we would always text unlike other vacations this one was really nice

cause despite being so far,Anita and Lionel made me feel special.They vacation has ended and it was time to go the boarding house,I had my last text from my two close

friends"I will miss you ,I love you" I also replied "Awnnn,I love you too"we returned to school with the same daily routine from last semester and just like the rays

of light the semester flushed away we came home again but this time around was conflict that I am following boys and sending them I love you texts .I was

so surprised because they only people I sent that to was Anita and Lionel and because Lionel was a boy ,I have turned into a prostitute .My mom called me all sort of

names from prostitute to cheap girl and other nasty things one could think of .I kept quiet and thought about all that she said .Then again I started questioning God on

my existence cause hearing your mom tell you "other parents have given birth to proper children ,why have I given birth to this rubbish "wasn't easy to take in as it sounds

I didn't talk to my mom after the event ,but she later asked ,me to go to her shop and work for her whilst working ,I lost my mom's ,money and she wanted me to pay it

back I was wandering how I could get it back and in doing that I recollected something I saw on youtube about binary trade ,I decided to create an account on one of

the sites and invested my mother's money into it with aim of paying her back and making her happy by giving her some extra cash but unfortunately for me lack of experience

in trading made me lose all I invested ,Now I was in real soup .I invested more money to get back the one I had lost but still failed.This deed got me thinking giving

sleepless nights .She later called me one early morning to ask about her money I tried lying but she caught me and I had to tell the truth ,she called me a thief ,liar

prostitute and murderer .She dragged me by dress collar and got me on my knees she went outside to look for caning materials and came back with a belt she lashed the life

out of me ,kicking me in the stomach while lashing me ,she lashed me anywhere from my face to my neck to my body except my palms and buttocks , I asked her so is it because of money you're hurting me ?

because I wasn't getting wounded

by the belt, she went out for a stick as big as four fingers combined and used it to hit me ,she hit me anywhere especially my head and my ears ,she hit my ear so hard

that blood started flowing immediately and the ear has changed it shape .YES, I have different looking ears .She later left me for work with her last words being I

will deal with you after work ,this is nothing ,Again I questioned God why I had a lot of problems and cannot do anything right ? I went to google to search if whether

those who commit suicide went to heaven or not ? Because while caning me She said she brought me into this life and can send me back ,I thought ending things before she came home

would be better . I still could'nt do that because I read a book that said God created you for a purpose ,so here I am now telling you that suicide isnt the best option

sometimes people fail to understand us but trust me they are not worth dying for .As I am writing ,I am still waiting for part two of the beating .LOL.