Baskadia

I feel alone.    Everyone around me is here but not here with me. All my life I've been surrounded by people but still feel alone. They are around me because they have to be around me, because they have no choice , am already part of their life.      To them I might be a parasite,  my intentions towards them are always good but are immediately misinterpreted into a clingy, dependent type of parasital vampire that's there to bring havoc, their assumptions have made me to be alone.      They see my "The Thinker" face as a Maleficent, to them I am the Mother Gothel who only comes to kill, steal and destroy their Home Sweet Homes,  I am the Evil Queen…  but in actual sense my The Thinker face is just My The Thinker face,  you may not believe it but when I make that face I am actually thinking 🤔 of something that might change my fate and Future, My appearance have made me to be alone .   Thinking 🤔 of the future can be stressful as you don't know what it may bring, but thinking of the future gives me Hope and it is Liberating as I don't know what it brings…  its always a mystery and an Adventure, but people are too scared to think of the future because they don't know what it will bring. No matter how many times you avoid it, the future will be the future, it will be the present and it will be the past. Work through the present towards a better future while learning from the past, because I think like this am Alone.     Constellations are always shifting and so should you, be a learner everyday, dont be too backwards and refrain from the new world, because by the time you decide to shift, it will take you longer steps to catch up…  it is during this process that I end up alone.    I am weird, only because they have failed to figure me out, they call me a puzzle, hard to be with, impossible to deal with,  hard to approach or talk to….I am not all these things, They have failed to see that I am one of a kind, Unique and Just me. They haven't taken the time to understand me because they expect me to everyone else, to like what they all like, talk like they all talk, walk like they all walk, act like they all act. Where is the Uniqueness in that…  where is me in all that…  Yes I am a puzzle because all the different parts make up ME. But still these different parts are too different for them to handle…  they distance themselves from the Weirdo hence am alone.    Rejection has been my life since Birth, I am the outcast of the family, they dont have to say it but its true, because I've been rejected so many times I've learnt alot….  Ive learnt to heal at the speed of lightning, because it happens too often am even used to it that every time I do something I understand that the probability of rejection is extremely high and I already have a solution for it…  I was supposed to be suicidal but guess what?  This Weirdo has made rejection its Strength. They say I move on too quickly, yes I do, because I know its not worth it to hold on to something non profitable enough to sustain me in anyway…  so am alone again.    I am alone because I choose to be me…  what a cruel world... I would rather be me with my Dark sense of humor than be everybody else with exaggerated "funny" "Normal" sense of humor.    I LOVE ME and I will continue being me cause I have no time to be somebody else when am not done figuring myself out.   HECK YEAH AM ALONE AND I LOVE IT.