Baskadia

I thought I had gone past this. I thought I just could not handle the pressure. So, I put myself back together and went back in the game. But things were just not clicking at all. I did not belong there. I did not see myself there. It was just so unnatural to me. Slowly by slowly I started quitting. I started giving up again. I began to beat myself up for the burning passion within me. Passion for something so different. Something that is socially unacceptable. I started thinking about film. Where did all these thoughts come from? How did I get so defiant? When did it start?

Thoughts ran back to O level. I remembered how passionate I was about the humanities. How I loved literature! Even when I pretended not to, something always seemed off. I was struggling all the time. Thank GOD that HE helped me with all my struggles.

I think this should be clear to us all. Doing Arts is not weakness and doing Sciences is not strength. Both of them work together to make life meaningful.

When I made my final confession that I wanted to pursue Arts, all guns pointed at me. Some of my loved ones thought that I had been possessed by demons. What is wrong with doing Arts? It broke my heart when the whole society looked at me like a fool. Like i had lost my mind.

Facts. Science is the more lucrative and the harder one of the two. But Arts is also not a bed of roses.

Spiritually, I was scared to go back before GOD to talk about this issue. I thought that HE would have the same prejudice as men. I thought that with all HIS might HE would jack me back into the sciences. I was running from HIM. How could I? Even against my will, HE can do anything. But one thing I have come to learn, GOD is not like any of us. HIS thoughts are higher than ours. HIS ways are higher than ours. HE blesses both the Arts and Science inclined individuals. HE is GOD of all mankind. HE does not have any prejudice in HIM. HE is a good good Father. I was just under the devil's deception.

My dad asked me this, "How will you face your peers? Aren't you going to be ashamed?" All these questions have already come to mind, but I'm tired of saving face. I have done this in my past life and trust me, it's not great.

All kinds of fears I have now are only mirages. I may not have as much talent but I know that with passion, hardwork beats talent all the time. I'm also not alone. GOD is with me, Emmanuel.