A part of me wishes i could go back to the very beginning of it all and prevent that one event from happening that changed the course of my entire life and shaped me into the barely surviving human being i am today. That part of me still loves to curl in bed between mama papa, with my head on mama's tummy and my legs draped over papa's torso. That part of me still waits for mama papa to fall asleep so i can turn my lamp on and finish the last chapter of the book i haven't been able to get my nose out of. Another part of me is terrified of change and saddened at the thought of a version of me that isn't crushed under the weight of all my own expectations. An unharmed, untouched version of me would be unstoppable, and so incredibly loveable. This world erased that version of me out of
existence before she could even begin to fully form.