Baskadia

As she laid her head on the pillow her eyes set at the clock hanging right across her. It tells it was half past eleven at night. There’s calm, there’s serenity every where she looks. The room that just felt as if it was struck by thunderstorm just half an hour ago is now unbelievably quiet. Just then a teeny tiny toe touched her hand and she smiled with all the love she had for this little human being, her very own miniature tornado. Next to him was a sweet girl mumbling something in her deep sleep oblivious to the fact that this is probably the twentieth time she’s saying this that day. Was it rude to tell a three year old to shut up and stop asking the same question all day? Or was it fair when she was yelled at for singing too loud while the mother was on phone? Or is it wrong to play some cartoons on the iPad just so that this one year old would sit still while the mother cooks.

It’s the story of every mother, every single day. You wake up with a load of responsibilities, leave the bed to prepare breakfast for your family, wake your kids up for school, prepare their lunch, pack their bags, make sure everything happens on time, you make things happen in the best way possible; You literally live for others. It is not a surprise that you feel overwhelmed with all the work, all the unacknowledged efforts that you put in each day just so that the household runs smoothly. Sometimes you are strict with your child, sometimes you give them a time out, sometimes you stop answering their questions because you don’t feel like it, sometimes you just detach yourself from the surrounding and there are times when you yell at your child for a mere spill of watering the floor. And when the night sets in you succumb yourself to the infamous 'mom guilt’.

To us it is a challenge every day to get things done. Taking care of the house, cooking dinner, washing dishes, making sure everyone has clean and ironed clothes to wear and believe me it is not easy. You clean up first and go in the kitchen to cook dinner and come back an hour later only to find the living room full of mess again. No matter how many times you wash those dirty dishes there will still be a bunny face mug with the remains of orange juice waiting for you in the sink. The clean clothes that you made the kids wear just an hour ago don’t look so clean anymore. You graduated from university to build a career but now that degree sits somewhere in the drawer of you cupboard and here you are scrubbing the kitchen floor because your toddler turned the whole bottle of oil upside down. Just whatever you do doesn’t seem enough. But dearest mommy, I am here to tell you it is okay.

Have you seen in the eyes of your baby when he looks up at you while you breastfeed him. Those are the eyes that tell you what you are to him. Or when your toddler smile era to ear when you baked him his favourite cookies, that smile is enough to light up whole world. Or when it’s impossible for you to even spare five minutes in the shower because your children are calling for you from outside the bathroom as those five minutes feel like an eternity to them. This is all because they love you and they want you around all the time as you are their safe haven. Even in a room full of toys, candies and everything kids have always wanted, your children will look around for you. And this makes it all worth it.

At the end of the day when you can hear a burst of laughter in your home, When kids are fed and happy, those dirty hands and clothes don’t matter. Ten years from now nobody will remember how messy your house was but children will remember how good , loving and cool mommy you are. Those who tell you you’re wasting yourself being a full time mom tell them you’re building the brightest of futures for your kids. Love yourself for being a messy looking mom wearing pj’s all day with loosely tied hair bun. Do not plan so much. Live your day to the fullest. Do whatever chores you can leave the rest for the other day. There is no guide to be a mother and a home maker. One thing that works for another mom might not work for you. Just listen to your gut feeling and go about your day. You don’t need approval from others to love yourself. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be a mom.