Baskadia

Is it possible to be nice without being misunderstood?

I was in desperate need of a job some time back and someone knew someone who knew someone who could help.

There was a job alright, but there was a condition, ‘I scratch your back you scratch mine.’

I was familiar with the “proposal”, a few years back, my boss had run the same play on me, “Do something for me or I’ll get you fired.”

Before that, there was a Supervisor who felt entitled to my body.

And after him, a film producer who told me the key to success in the film industry was “inside” me.

For a moment, Sex seems to open more doors than Education.

Honestly, out of 10, I would give myself a solid 5.5.

I’ve never been the prettiest girl in the room but I tend to be warm, welcoming and I love smiling.

Generally, I would consider myself a nice person. I’m not a snob; I’m not a diva, just a nice person.

I don’t mind being nice but at times I wish I was a snob because nice gets misunderstood.

When every guy you meet wants to smash you, a question lingers in your mind, is it me or them?

It’s not an easy question to answer.

When peers want to smash you, when married men want to smash you, when your boss wants a piece of the pie, when every conversation with a co-worker has sexual undertones, you look inward and think maybe I’m giving out the wrong signals, maybe I’m the one leading them on.

Is it possible to be nice without being misunderstood?

A few centuries ago it would have been possible but today the social dynamics have changed and this change has affected how women behave.

I don’t want to be a snob. I don’t want to be indifferent; I want to be nice and courteous.

I want to be kind and considerate; I want to treat others as I would want to be treated.

I want to smile at a stranger, have meaningful conversations with my ‘nduthi’ guy, I want to lend hand to a man who has forgotten his wallet and the impatient tout is about to embarrass him, I want to help jump start a car that has stalled on the highway.

I won’t stop being nice because I fear being misunderstood.

What I fear is losing myself and my character because of a few “perverts” I’ve met along the way.

I chose to smile, to genuinely care, I chose to be warm and welcoming, I choose to give free hugs and a complement things well done, I choose to appreciate and give credit where it’s due.

Yes, I will be misunderstood, I might be accused of leading some gentlemen on, but that is who I am and I will not change me because of a few misguided individuals.

I’m willing to pay the price of being nice.