I hate myself, God damn! I hate myself I wish I could kill myself but that will be a sin, I wish I could run away, but you can't run away from yourself. But if someone kills me then I am not the sinner,
I tried to run in the front of a car but it stopped, I tried getting the police to shoot me but they didn't. No matter what I want whether good or bad it doesn't come to me.
God please if you won't let me die then let me live.
There is no happy place for people like me I'm sure when I die I will go to hell, even if I lived holy all of my days, so why even try.
The only thing keeping me from turning into a lunatic is the belief that no matter how depressed you are there is always someone who can make you happy. Now I just have to wait in this pool of pain until I find her, and when I do I will squeeze her with all my strength and ask why did you take so long to find me?.