Baskadia

THE DO’s AND DON’Ts OF A RELATIONSHIP

For a relationship to last and possibly lead to marriage, there are some guidelines that one has to take to achieve a successful relationship.

I will start with the Do’s

*Always be the guilty one. Apologize for any misunderstanding. In every friction, accept that you are wrong, so that the matter does not escalate quickly that it will later turn to irreconcilable differences.

*Respect your partner’s privacy. Truth be told, there should be space for privacy in a relationship. Often times, some people just want to be alone in their world. This goes for private properties too like phone, phone charger, bags, diary and other personal stuff. 

*Always be the matured one. The matured one usually is the oldest one but in reality age does not guarantee maturity. You will need to consider your partner as a toddler. You will be the one doing the matured thinking. There will hardly be any problem in the relationship if one party is truly matured.

*Know your partner’s mood at all times. Everybody has mood swings from time to time. Most girls usually have this mood during their menstruation period. Men have this mood when they are disappointed or are broke. This mood is normal in a relationship. It is left for you to figure out the mood swings of your partner so that you won’t step on the wrong toes.

*Believe everything your partner tells you. The moment you start nurturing the idea that your partner might be telling a lie, then there is already a crack in the relationship. Believe everything you hear, for your peace of mind. 

*Be a “YES” person. Try not to use the rejection and negative word “NO” often. The word YES sounds more calmer and assuring. But the word “NO” is authoritative and demeaning. The negative word is something you should try and shy away from. Instead of using “NO”, you can use other words or phrase like “maybe”, “possibly”,”Let us see how it goes”, “I will give it a thought” and others.

Now, let us examine the Don’ts

*Don’t always ask for favors from your partner. No matter how wealthy, hardworking, reserved and gentle your partner is, don’t play the needy type. If you ask for favors all the time, you are jeopardizing your relationship.

*Don’t always be submissive. This is very delicate because, your perceived submission can be taken as stupidity and weakness by your partner. There are times that you just won’t agree to something not just because you don’t like it but because you want a balance in the relationship. A relationship can’t be too cold or too hot. It must be average to get a real balance in the relationship.

*Don’t be too kind. Being too kind is perceived as a weakness. Sometimes you just have to be mean and say it the way it is instead of dying in silence or grumbling in your spirit. An example is you telling your partner to pick his dirty boxers off the floor. You can’t pick the dirty boxers all the time.

*Don’t listen to outsiders. Most of the people giving advices are in worst relationship. Focus on your relationship with your partner and starve distractions from outsiders. 

*Don’t be too quick to judge. Sometimes things are usually not the way they look. There should always be benefit of doubt in every situation. Your partner should not be guilty because of a hearsay or intuition that you have. You should always hear all sides of a story before jumping to conclusions because even a coin has two sides. 

*Don’t ever hide your feelings. The earlier you express how you feel about a particular thing or situation, the better for the relationship. An example is telling your partner to stop picking nose in public.