Think about the most good-sized trait preserving your back, proper now. What reward does it supply you with?
4. Playing small.
5. People pleasing.
We apprehend these traits preserve us back. We comprehend that large matters lie previous these traits. We recognize that our existence ought to be very wonderful if we may want to simply stop… So we pressure ourselves preceding these blocks; sense the worry and do it anyway. Unfortunately, because these traits are so deeply rooted in us, they don’t simply time us up once. They appear in one-of-a-kind areas of our lives, and wonderful conditions all the time. You do have to get to the root motive of all and sundry and address why this trait is coming up in the first place. And a convenient way you can get to the cause is to ask yourself: What do I reap from this trait? The first reaction most humans have is: 'Nothing! I attain nothing from this trait.' But you do - you get a reward from these traits. So what may additionally that reward be? The reward you get from procrastination may additionally be that you by no means have to fail at anything - if you don’t finish, you technically haven’t failed. With self-sabotage, the reward would possibly additionally be that others can’t damage you - you dismantle something it is beforehand then all of us receive a hazard to reject it (or you). Maybe the reward for countless perfectionism is that it minimises the hazard of you being judged, incorrect or disliked…if you ought to just get it perfect. If you play small, human beings can’t reject you. If you make others happy, then you’ll be preferred and accepted. These things aren’t true. But our thought makes a ‘logical’ conclusion that the wonderful way to be favoured is to do what all and sundry else needs you to do, or that the fine way to preserve away from rejection is to push others away, so you stay ‘safe’. We all reap something from the traits that preserve us back. Once you pick out what the reward is, you apprehend the motivator at the return of the behaviour. Then, you can shift your reward to something positive; something that certainly helps you. Think about the biggest trait holding you back, ideal now. What reward does it supply you with?