Baskadia

"I was so in love with him, all that mattered to me was having him as my man, I loved him deeply, I wanted no one else loving him, I didn't like that the other girls clustered around him. I wanted to get married to him every minute but I was just in SS2. Funny, right? Yeah. Others called it crush or infatuation, I called it love. I had many times thinking about him more than my studies but I was a student who loved reading the book. For everytime I read and he passes, my heart jumps out of my chest and yes, that is the danger of being in a general full boarding school. I saw the love of my life daily I loved to be around him everytime and I'll do anything to belong to his group in anything or subject that brought us together. I was his secret admirer but I wasn't just an admirer, I was in love with him, not the kind of love that will make you wanna have sex at that age, but, the kind that'll make you want the one you love by your side just staring at you and giving re assuring smiles. I wasn't the student to die in silence; My friends were all aware. Some advised me to forget him as he was everyone's crush, yeah, crush because I believed I was the only one who loved him, I loved all his sisters and mother inclusively. I really wanted to be a daughter in that house. I loved every bit of him and never wanted to stop loving him even when he wasn't even aware that I loved him that deeply. I was waiting and yeah, hoping that one day, he realizes, he will know how much I adore and care for him, how much I respected him. My other friends encouraged me and loved that I loved him that much, I was happy that someone or some people rooted for us. 

He was everything to me that I made sure we grew into more than classmates, he became my friend, We were friends for a long period and for every period, I loved every inch of him, I loved him so much that I will do anything for him. Whenever he was sick, I got worried, not worried that he might die; I also didn't know why I was worried but I knew he couldn't since my love for him was still alive. I hated to see him down but that's if anyone will, he was cheerful, always smiling. Don't think he was so handsome, no, he wasn't handsome, he just had a man's stature, not that of triceps and biceps of a full grown man but that stature that a man who is not slim or thin has. He didn't have beards, he wasn't even growing beards yet, his face was still like a fresh pear, he wasn't wearing the latest cloths, we were both students and we all wore our uniforms. He was responsible and will run errands, that was a good reason to love him, he was just like my brother, as responsible as he is, as loving and caring as Adigun is, he was calm like Adigun, he loved like Adigun,yeah, silent love because He was in love with another lady I knew pretty much. A love triangle, huh? Yeah, that's what it was. I knew and still expected much. I still loved him despite knowing. I still wanted him to be mine. It wasn't because I was selfish, it was because I knew his worth that others didn't. The girl he loved didn't love him back. Sounds funny, right? Yeah, exactly how I felt.

For a while I didn't struggle to forget him, no, for most of the while, I didn't try to forget him, I didn't want to, I wanted to embrace that feeling. He was my first love, I wanted to love, I wanted to steal glances at someone's son, I wanted to smile while seeing someone's son pass by, I wanted my heart to beat upon hearing someone's name. I wanted him only ,just him and I would have been satisfied. I didn't mind to face any humiliation because I eventually did and yeah, that too, because I loved him. I was hell bent on loving him. Don't get it wrong, he didn't know. He couldn't even see through. He rather told me about the girl he loves and how she's been rejecting his love. Well, he never proposed but his friends did on his behalf. I never felt jealous, I don't know why, maybe because, she doesn't share the feelings or maybe because I loved him and was respecting his love. He requested me to run a background check on her, I tried my best. I wasn't really hurting. Maybe there were some spirits assuring me of him being mine. I never even cared to know. I was busy loving, loving passionately, loving effortlessly. I wrote poems for my love, I wrote songs too. I sang love songs for everytime he popped into my head. So, I eventually was singing everyday.

We used to be friends, we became good friends and he still couldn't see through. Maybe, I was chaste and wasn't giving him any styles a chaste woman would. Maybe he just was interested in his own love life. Maybe he just didn't see through everything.. But then, I lived, I was alive, I was in love. It was enough for me.. I loved every bit of it. Every time mattered to my existence. When he got admitted into the university, I was happy, we were still in touch. We were friends. We still had that connection and we weren't dating..

Guess what Lucia, I hate him now" ..