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#1 New York Times Bestseller

2014 NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST

In her first memoir, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast brings her signature wit to the topic of aging parents. Spanning the last several years of their lives and told through four-color cartoons, family photos, and documents, and a narrative as rife with laughs as it is with tears, Chast's memoir is both comfort and comic relief for anyone exper

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Book ID Asin: B00JA9JE0Y
Book Title: Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir
Book Author: Roz Chast
Book Format and Price:
Book Format Name: Kindle
Book Format Price: $10.82
Book Format Name: Hardcover
Book Format Price: $14.39
Book Format Name: Paperback
Book Format Price: $10.79
Book Price: $10.82
Book Category: Kindle Store, Kindle eBooks, Comics, Manga & Graphic Novels and unknown
Book Rating: 1,916 ratings

Can't We Talk about Something More Pleasant?: A Memoir by Roz Chast Book Review

Name: Nancy Drew
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: You are not alone...
Date: Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2017
Review: I wish I had read this book when it was first published in 2013. In fact, I needed this book long before that.

Roz Chast and I are exactly the same age. We grew up in an era where people didn't "talk about such things." End of life issues? What were those? One day your beloved relative simply didn't wake up because "they were tired and God took them home."

I was a bit more knowledgeable than Roz. One grandmother lived with our family until the night I woke up to find EMT guys and a stretcher in the hall of our tiny house. My grandmother had had stroke number 7 or 8 (we lost track after a point). I was 8. She went into a coma and stayed that way for three months. She went from the hospital to a high class (for the time) nursing home. Mom and I visited every day, although my grandmother's condition never changed. I did get quite an education as to what senility looked like. One of my grandmother's roommates was convinced that she was living in the house she and her husband had built. And just who was this strange woman living in "her" house. We arrived one day to find this tiny woman shoving Grandma's hospital bed down the hall because she "didn't belong in my house." When my grandmother died, I was home alone. The Head Nurse said, as if they were reading a telegram. "Mrs. S has died. Please tell your parents to contact us about arrangements." No 8-year-old should have to tell their own mother that HER mother had died. But I did.

Now I am living Roz's nightmare of finding The Best Place, then fretting about how to pay for it. And all the add ons--24/7 sitters to force my dad to leave his room, to eat, to engage occasionally with the world. He is a "sundowner" (something none of his previous caretakers bothered to tell me. The Place called to say he was cruising the halls in his wheelchair at 2 am, shouting. (Um...that's what the sitters are for...to keep him from untoward behavior.) The Place put him on the list for their "Memory Care" unit. Then suddenly, a day after I had seen him and he had seemed fine (fine being a relative term), the nursing staff, some doctor and his round the clock caretakers decided he need to be on Hospice care. There will be another 15 hour trip as soon as I can deal with issues and details in my own family.

But back to the book--Roz shoots it to you straight; the money worries, the endless add-on fees (sort of like living off an ala carte menu) the resentment and resistance, the ever shifting combination of The Place staff and administration (who often don't seem to communicate with each other), the "extra" doctors, the "extra" service sitters, the endless supply shopping. Had I read Roz's book first, I would've known that Assisted Living is an empty room for which you must supply everything from a bed to toilet paper and Kleenex and room snacks. Had I read this book first I wouldn't experience my never ending guilt for sometimes resenting the long distance trips, the calls at all hours, and the ever dwindling money supply. Guilt because while I was close to both parents, Dad and I were the most alike. I can still see traces of the Dad I love, as opposed to Mom, who turned into someone I didn't know after her stroke. (A really angry, foul mouthed, hallucinating someone...again...Roz's experience.

I have two things to say: 1) make sure your parents give you power of attorney (Roz's parents did not...but hers didn't take her to court to fight her lie mine did...another money suck 2) read this book BEFORE you need to. It doesn't give you answers or happy endings (or even peaceful deaths). It does give you the feeling that you are not alone. Thank you, Roz Chast.

Name: ulysses4
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Frank and Thoughtful
Date: Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2017
Review: There is a saying in the Navy: "any ship can be a minesweeper...once." For those of us not in the medical or elder care professions, dealing with our parents' decline and death is an emotional roller coaster; a harrowing experience. One can't be fully prepared for the emotional, physical and financial challenges. People are living longer, many families are smaller and through jobs and choice we are not always living in the same community with our parents. Chast is very honest about not having lived an idyllic childhood and her parents weren't the best (or worst) role models. Most of us try to do the right things for our parents when we become responsible for their care, and I suspect most of us aren't candidates for sainthood.

She crafts a caring and candid portrait of two flawed but colorful people who stood together for nearly 70 years in a rock solid marriage. She is also remarkably honest about her own conflicting emotions.Her parents foibles and phobias, hoarding and occasional irrationality clearly drove their daughter to distraction. Still, they lived well into their 90s on their own terms. The sadness of their ultimate physical and mental decline is only partially absolved by their daughter's fulfilling her duty of care and the hard won insights as she comes to terms with and assists them in their final journey..

For those of us who have been through this passage, it is a tale well told. For those who have not, buckle up.

Name: David Kusumoto
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: The Wheel of Doom" and gallows humor about some grossly brutal truths.
Date: Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2014
Review: * As I write this, my 83-year-old dad is withering away in an assisted living facility, riddled with Alzheimer's. Sometimes I want my Dad to die now - because he's unaware of his suffering - and he'd cuss me out if he knew he is turning into what Roz Chast's mother describes as "a pulsating piece of protoplasm." I feel guilty feeling this way - but "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" makes such forbidden thoughts feel normal.

* (BTW, don't buy the Kindle version. This title, with its colorful cartoons and photos - as well as its handsome construction as a hardcover book - truly belongs on your coffee table. I sampled the Kindle version, didn't like it, and bought the hardcover.)

* This book feels weirdly clairvoyant. It exposed my doubts, fears and paradoxical feelings about watching my parents die slowly before my eyes. I've read almost everything about the subject of aging and dying. And yet this is the first book that captures the exhausting experience of caring for aging parents, e.g., that it's sometimes gross - (see passages about hoarding, incontinence and "grime") - AND funny - (see "The Wheel of Doom" and Roz Chast's father's obsession with myriad bank books, decades old).

* The author's hand-wringing about whether there's going to be enough money to pay for her parents' care is spot on. How long will the money last if they live "X" more years vs. "Y" more years? I do these calculations every month, constantly updating and trying to prepare for the worst. Any savings will be drained by expenses which will have no effect on terminal outcomes. If the daily care and feeding of your parents doesn't kill you - then the avalanche of paperwork and legal stuff that must be done - will.

* Hence despite the preference to "talk about something more pleasant," if nothing else, this book demonstrates why planning for our parents' end-of-life care must begin NOW - not later.

* I recommend this book for every person who's on the brink of going insane about their aging parents. Give it to caregivers, give it to your siblings, give it to anyone who hates dark subjects - but who can handle them if they're presented in a disarmingly funny style that's accessible - yet still honest. (I don't think I can read another "text-only" book about the "death spiral" of aging parents.)

* In sum, "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant?" takes the hard edges off some things while inflicting blunt-force traumas about others. Roz Chast nails the impending death of our parents in a way that feels like a landmark work. I know such praise sounds silly given the sea of excellent books out there about aging. But I've never seen this subject presented in an original, humorous and touching way, complete with hand-drawn illustrations and color photos. It avoids the trap of being overly optimistic, forcing us to confront the gruesomeness of mortality - while STILL providing an emotional "lift" about something universal.

* This book makes going through one of the darkest periods of my life - feel almost worth it.