Maybe to make up for something? - Then the relationship is DOOMED to disappointment. This is where the proverbial "woman should" and "man should" come from, in other words, the attempts to change, to force, to oblige, to harass and so on.
Have you learned to meet your own needs so that you don't make your partner a means for accomplishing your needs and just love her/him unconditionally? Are you able to be self-sufficient and find resources so that you don't exhaust the other? Can you accept the fact that the other also has needs and wants and nevertheless keep in touch with him or her?
Maybe it's high time to face yourself, heal your pain, meet your needs, learn to live with yourself in harmony and thus make your relationship warmer, closer, and more peaceful?