"The very arms that had once enveloped and welcomed her lovingly and warmly with a smile plastered on her face now frowned upon her. The face that had once been so friendly had turned into something else that she didn't know. What had started out as support had now turned into discouragement disguised with a bit of concrete criticism. Graceful and innocent looks had turned into eye rolls and the evil eye and the once blossoming friendship was no more. Now they were enemies and Shallom didn't know how it had happened. Even though, they had been the best of friends, even their work relationship now seemed unfathomable. It was torture, hell even."
Shallom's story is one story of how the pull her down syndrome can infiltrate relationships with other women. The pull her down syndrome is defined as a state of being where women undermine each other. The pull her down syndrome affects many women from all aspects of life and different social backgrounds. It transcends all spheres where women meet and mingle. The pull her down syndrome almost aids the toxic society. Shallom definitely couldn't deal with it and so she confronted her now "nemesis". What she hadn't expected was for her nemesis to break down and cry. She was startled. She hadn't thought she was being harsh. All she wanted were answers so she could get closure.
In between all the tears, all Shallom saw was a little girl who had been trying for so long to live the life she thought people wanted her to live. When she couldn't live that life she had projected her own insecurities on her. She had been ruled by her insecurities that she didn't know who she was anymore. She had wished to have Shallom's life and when friendship didn't give her her needs, she ballooned into a negative and bitter friend. She tried to have an intimidating persona and yet there she was now sobbing like never before.
Shallom had to lend a listening ear. She had no right to judge because of course, she was no saint! Now she had come face to face with the real Nyasha. The girl in her just wanted to hug her and say, "I understand why you did what you did." But she didn't understand. Did she really have to hurt her like that? Her life was no perfect ride, in fact, she didn't wish for anyone to live her life. Why couldn't she be content with what she had? Regardless of whatever problems Nyasha was facing, she could have confided in her. Surely she'd have understood right? Standing in front of her, she realised that she wouldn't have understood. She was staunch in her beliefs and maybe Nyasha was right to act the way she had because maybe she would have judged her.
Shallom couldn't help but shed a tear or two. Maybe this was the unifying force that could take their friendship to a new peak. Or maybe it was the final nail in the coffin. A confirmation that maybe their friendship was over. One thing was certain, they definitely had some issues to deal with. The sisterly nature in Shallom kicked in and she wanted to help her, to help her even though she knew it would be a long journey. Even though she had her own prejudices, she was convinced she had to help her. The fact that she had broken down in front of her showed that she was so sensitive and that the hard exterior she presented was just a ploy to fool everyone.
Now that she had broken down, Nyasha couldn't wait to hear what her friend really thought of her. She hadn't meant to be a nightmare. It had all happened fast. Shallom did her job much better than she did and what had started out as just some imitation had ended up exposing her for the fragile being she was. She had gone too far and she deserved whatever bitter words her friend had for her. But seeing how Shallom had reacted told her that just maybe their friendship still stood a chance. Maybe they could have a go at it again. She had hope.
They held each other and cried in each other's arms. Instead of just supporting and helping each other, Nyasha had chosen to be the bitter pill in the friendship. Now looking at each other, with their make up spoiled and mascara dripping down their faces, they felt closer than ever. They realised that they were never going to be the same person but they could be content with who they were. The saying, "I am who I am and I'm unapologetically fearless" rang true to them. The time for them to be daring and bold in who they were was present. They had realised that undermining each other just didn't work because they were different people.