This Author hate sharing her thoughts because it feel like this is revealing something that is precious to her . Something that hurt her,but can repair others.
Sharing one thoughts can be a burden or a relief .
It depends on how one sees it.
But for now I will take my thought for a way to unleash my pain,my pain that life had bestowed me .
But sadly I can only shared a piece of me.
For thoughts are something vulnerable and precious to me .
For years I have felt the numbness , the pain ,the ugliness of life .
Wishing I was not born ,wishing that I could put a thread around my neck ,but at the same time wishing to breath , because still.........I want to hold on to what ? life?...
The sorrow of my life is green and the pain in my heart is red.
Even I don't know when it will unleash.It could be today? Tomorrow? or never.
My life is bleak it like walking on a needle.
And walking on a thread to the unknown.
Life is a hurdle ,a journey full of obstacles am crying, emptiness residing in me.......
My heart crying ,weeping furiously to break the ice.
Love ...... I don't even have my own meaning only the definition written in the dictionary and the bible.
Its hard to say but love is a scared word to- me but dark-ness truly represent me.
It is all I know .....am scared of it.
It frighten me .......but at the same time comfort me in its blanket .......representing black.
Some time I question my self -worth but that still remains unanswer.
What is love ? Because I truly don't know ,do I even want to know. ?
When I thought of the word all I felt is hollow .....and crazy laughing in my sorrow .
If that word is real........... ,but crazy enough I know it is not a myth.
Do I want to feel it?
Or I am too scared to experience the grieve ,the torment and the misery that comes with it.
That is what they told me maybe this is what love represent.This author has already been through the essence representing life .
But there is one last thing this Author want to share ....
That is............ life may bring me down. But I will remain steadfast ,my scars I have come to love .
Because they represent the unyielding strength.
They represent me ,my mirror.