May dalawang nagmamahalan na parehong lalaki ngunit Hindi iyon hadlang para matatamasa nila Ang pagmamahalan na nais nilang iparamdam sa isa't isa ngunit Ang kanilang pagmamahalan ay mauudlot dahil sa Isang trahedyang Hindi kanais-nais

He's Gone

Nica Calzada

I was 19 and he was 20 when I first saw him in the school. We were schoolmates back then.

It was the first day of school year. I'm a freshman student, and he's in 2nd year college.

I'm taking the BS in Tourism Management, while he's taking BS in Marine Transportation.

I want to be a Flight Attendant. And he wants to be a Seafarer.

At first we are totally strangers. Not until our friends introduced us to each other.

It started with, “Hi, I'm Sean.” he said. “ Hi, I'm Sky.” I responded.

We became friends, a closest friends. Lagi kaming nagkikita. We were hanging out, and eating together.

I developed my feelings to him. But I kept that on myself, I remain quiet. I'm just loving him in silence.

But at the end of the school year he confessed to me. He confessed his feelings towards me.

I'm just speechless that time because our feelings were mutual. Then we decided to turn our friendship into lovers.

It all went well. We were both happy and strong, hanggang sa maka-graduate sya habang ako ay 4th year college na.

We were celebrating our 3rd year anniversary, at binalita sakin ang good news. He was so excited.

“Jo, I have a good news.” sabi nya na puno ng excitement.

“What is it, jo?” I ask ay habang sumusubo ng isang kwek-kwek.

“I received an email, makakasakay na ako sa barko.” sabi nito sakin.

Agad akong napangiti dahil matagal na nyang pangarap ang tumuntong sa barko.

“Wow, that's a very good news. I'm so happy for you, jo.” sabi ko dito.

He held my hand and kissed it. And he smiled to me.

A month had passed at dumating na yung time na sasakay sya ng barko. 

I'm sad kasi iiwan na nya ako, but also I'm happy kasi pangarap nya 'to.

I was crying while hugging him. The fact na hindi ko sya makakasama ng ilang months or even years, is killing me.

“Jo, don't cry na. Mahihirapan akong umalis nyan e.” bulong nito sakin habang hinahagod ang buhok ko.

“E kasi mamimiss kita e. Hindi ako sanay na hindi ka kasama.” sabi ko sakanya.

“Madali lang naman 'to. And always naman akong tatawag sayo e.” he said with assurance.

Humiwalay ako sa kanya at ngumiti. Bago sya umalis he gave me a deep kiss and tight hug, as if it was the last.

A months was passed, at hindi ko napapansin na wala sya kasi lagi nya akong tinatawagan, he was always upadating me.

And also na-busy rin ako sa school dahil OJT na din namin.

Umuwi ako nang late sa bahay dahil sa mga school works ko. At hindi namalayang nakatulog na dahil sa pagod.

Exactly 2:37 am nang nagising ako sa ring ng phone ko. May tumatawag.

I picked it up kahit inaantok pa at nakapikit ang mga mata.

“Hello?” bungad ko with a sleepy tone of voice.

Agad akong napamulat ng mapagtantong siya ang ang tumatawag.

“Bakit, jo? It's already 2:37 am pa lang dito. May problema ba?” nagtatakang tanong ko.

Usually dapat nagpapahinga na sya ngayon, and hindi nya talaga ako tinatawagan ng mga ganitong oras, unless emergency or may problema.

“Wala naman, jo. Na-miss lang kita kaya ako tumawag.” sabi nito.

I smiled on his words, my heart was overwhelmed. Ang sweet nya talaga, pero agad itong napalitan ng kaba ng may marinig akong ingay sa background.

Tila nagsisigawan at nagpapanic ang boses ng mga tao.

“What is that noise, jo? Anong nangyayari?” kinakabahan na tanong ko.

“Ah yon ba? Wala, jo, nagkakasiyahan lang kami dito.” sabi nito.

Kilala ko sya, hindi sya magsasaya ng hindi nagsasabi sakin. At hindi nya ugaling masali sa mga ganong kasiyahan ng ganitong oras. Mas lalo akong kinabahan.

“You're lying. Anong nangyayari jan, Sean?” tanong kong muli, kinakabahan na ako ng sobra.

Agad itong umiyak na mas lalong ikinabahala ko.

“Jo, no matter what will happen always remember that I love you so much.” sabi nito habang umiiyak.

“What's happening, Sean? Tangina!” hindi ko na mapigilang umiyak at magmura dahil may kutob na ako.

“Jo, the ship is sinking at kinulong nila kami dito sa baba. Ayaw nila kaming pagbuksan, at hanggang bewang na namin yung tubig.” 

At that moment, hindi ko na maramdaman yung sarili ko.

Tanging pag-iyak na lang ang nagawa ko. This can't be happening.

No. He'll never leave me. Hindi sya mamamatay.

“Jo, I'm sorry if hindi ko na matutupad lahat ng pinangako ko sayo. I'm sorry kung maiiwan na kita ng tuluyan. Mahal na mahal kita, lagi mo yang tatandaan. And in another life, I will choose you again, pipiliin kita ng paulit-ulit.” sabi nito sa akin, at nakikinig lang ako sa kanya.

I can't imagine na mawawala na sya ng tuluyan. Yung wala lang sya sa tabi ko ng ilang buwan para na akong pinapatay, pero ngayon na mawawala na sya ng tuluyan, hindi ko kaya.

“I love you too, jo. You're the happiest thing that happened to me. Thank you for loving me.” I said kahit nahihirapan na akong magsalita.

“Fly high my flight attendant, ha. Keep on fighting and don't give up.” 

“Sail far, my seafarer.” I whispered.

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