Baskadia

There’s no going back now

I can’t change what has been done

I have to stop dwelling in the past

Unable to contain the darkness in me

Imposible to fulfill emptiness in me

Left with only a void, consuming me from the inside

Sharing the pain I felt was going to do no good

So I kept to myself

I locked everyone out, leaving myself in a cold dark room where I walked around for years alone

There was no way out, this I knew now

The constant urge to kill myself kept distracting me from the real world

Couldn’t go to sleep, afraid of having the same dream which I’ve had continuously for years.

Dark circles underneath my eyes caused by lack of sleep,

Big teary eyes evident,

Pale skin which everyone could easy notice but said nothing

I cry out but nothing comes out

I wanted to play tuff, deceiving the world I could do well on my own

But when the fear comes, I crumble to the ground

I couldn’t be tuff, turns out I was deceiving myself all along

I had no one to run to, prescriptions were not helping, therapy wasn’t an option

I screamed at the top of my lungs as tears streamed down my face

I could no longer take it anymore

It is time to find peace I said to myself

Finally time to live my dream

As I turn on the radio, I slipped out of my clothes entering the shower

I lay down and relax my muscles, I closed my eyes

Thinking of a world without this depression, a world filled with peace

I couldn’t find a reason to continue,

So I take out my knife and slit my wrists, my bathe becoming bloody

I take a deep breath and closed my eyes as a different type of darkness engulfed me.