Baskadia

Immigrating to another country from your motherland is not child’s play as it requires courage and self-sacrifice. I migrated from my home country, Nigeria to Bimbe in North America. (For security reasons, Bimbe will represent the country to which I migrated). Omo, that was some trip. I remember saying to myself on the airplane, “Boo, there is a whole new life ahead of us” with the rays of positivity and courageousness. What!! Courageousness??? Oh my nostalgic days, I don’t know if I set out with a courageous spirit because I still cry whenever I see any native dish, African clothing, or a picture😭.

Nigerian native rice

These are some of those things nobody tells you. That’s not why we are here. I want to discuss 5 things that made me laugh so hard till my lungs screeched. Were they culture shocks? Well… you will find out in a few seconds.

1. All Stores Are Closed On Public Holidays.

Oh My! So many uncountable public holidays have I witnessed in Bimbe. Ahhh! Wetin dey happen. To top it all, the store doors are closed with a mighty superglue. Omo, I thought it was all a joke until hunger woke my kidneys from their slumber. In Nigeria, public gini🤐. Dearest, people will troop in and out of local street kiosks. The bread will be the freshest, the eggs will have a unique taste, Mama Put’s rice will be exceptionally delicious and the stew will send you straight to Disneyland :). Those stores will be open just in case you forget to buy the foodstuff needed to survive.

Imagine laughing when your intestinal walls are dealing with you. Don’t play oo. Only the ants on my windows and the toothbrush in my bathroom can testify to how I survived that day.

2. If You Place Your Belongings Outside, People Automatically Assume That You Don’t Need Them Anymore

Bonanza! Bonanza! Bonanza! This is the clause written on whatever belonging you keep at the front of your porch in Bimbe. “Ahh! Eskelebe ti o lebene”. Back home, how dare you!! You would probably be beaten to stupor before you even had the chance to explain yourself. Are the properties yours? …or were your hands itching you?

You would probably find yourself in a coffin if you are not careful. I figured out it was a lifestyle and a means of giving back to society as well as recycling used items in Bimbe. Else, trust me when I say that the average Nigerian will use their belonging until the commodities start screaming for help.

Broken Chair: Iya Bolu, biko when will you discard me?

The Average Nigerian: Ehnn! Where are you going to? Why should I when I can recycle you? You had better be alive to see my 15th great-grandchild

Trust me, 50% of us answer questions with questions especially when we are in an informal setting.

3.There Is An Extra Hour In Winter

Nature has indeed blessed the diaspora. If there were winter in Nigeria, students would most likely come to school at 10 am when the short break is over. Kindly tell me why nature will announce an extra hour of games and sleep and we will be out on the streets trying to get to school. In Bimbe, this is the era when tutors bombard students with uncountable projects and assignments. Chai!

While this is ongoing, serious businessmen and women will utilize the hour to their satisfaction. Believe me when I say that Nigerians are very hardworking. Unfortunately, we don’t have snow but showers of ice block. A few days ago, it rained cats, dogs, hens, and bananas in Lagos. My friend, people were wading through the waters to their shops. Many individuals were struggling to rescue their goods from their stores because the flood was about 3 feet tall. Unlike the popular misconception that Africans are dirty, we are not. They all took a nice shower after, made memes out of their predicament, laughed to stupor, and had the best sleep of their lives. Life isn’t meant to be that hard. Right?

4. Some People Do not Bathe Frequently

I remember the week I arrived. I sat beside an individual on the public bus. As soon as this person lifted his arms, I was on my way to my creator. My nostrils lost their function immediately. Sadly, this is not just an individual issue but soon to be a social crisis amongst some people in Bimbe.

Their skin is giving “Wash me ooo, 3 days old”. Back at home, your community members would have given you a bombastic side eye before you even left the gate. Everyone needs to maintain personal hygiene despite the fact that daily bread comes at intricate costs and sacrifice which many may not resonate with. Please take a shower if you haven’t ooo. It is very important.

5.The Sun Doesn’t Set until Some Minutes to 9 pm In Summer

When all my strength is gone and I want to take a good sleep in summer, Mr Window will still stand firmly as though he is the love of my life. Dear Sun, please hear my supplications. I want to sleep. That feeling of ‘Oh! It is not nighttime yet. Ehnn, if 9 pm is not nighttime, then is it time night?’ I always have a good laugh with my friends before proceeding to cover my eyes with my beloved pillows. Honestly, these pillows of mine have been my saving grace. What would I have done without these sweethearts? Please tell me.

Indeed, there are so many fun moments that I want to share with you. There are just so many of them. Times like these are those moments where we should find little things to smile at for the sake of our well-being. Thank you Bimbe for these amazing experiences and for those to come.

Slangs and Their Versatile Meanings

Ehnn!! -An exclamation that can be used in every scenario. It may express shock, happiness, sadness, etc.

Omo- Used when one is short of words

Chai- Used to express pity, sarcasm, disappointment, etc.

Wetin dey happen- What is happening?

Mama put- A name for local food vendors

Eskelebe ti o lebene-An exclamation for something unbelievable

gini- What

biko- Please

Iya: This means mother

ooo- This is used when there is a need to lay emphasis.

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