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Senega2021/03/04 12:02
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You may remember how the Beatles sang, “All you need is love.” I absolutely

disagree with that conclusion. Five out of ten marriages today are ending in

divorce because love alone is not enough. Yes, love is vital, especially for the

wife, but what we have missed is the husband’s need for respect. This book is

about how the wife can fulfill her need to be loved by giving her husband what

he needs—respect. Here is the story of one couple who discovered the Love and

Respect message just in time:

My husband and I attended your Love and Respect marriage conference. A few days before we

had gotten into another “Crazy Cycle” and decided we had had enough and were going to end our

marriage. We were both hurt, sad, angry, and despondent. By the way, we are both believers and I

work on the staff of a large church.

We had been seeing a Christian marriage counselor and I can honestly say that your conference

not only saved our marriage but actually helped us more and gave us more information and

strategies than counseling ever did. We had decided to go as a last-ditch effort, but my husband

really didn’t believe it would help and almost didn’t go. The truths God has revealed to you are

both simple and profound. . . . They started a healing process and revolutionized our marriage. If

only we had been given this information thirty years ago, what heartache and pain it would have

saved us.

Let me just say, after the close on Saturday, we spent the best afternoon and evening with each

other we have had in years. It was like we were in our twenties again and so in love. Emerson, I

can honestly tell you, I never ever realized how important, how life-giving, respect was to my


What did this woman and her husband hear at that conference? What

revolutionized their marriage? What caused two people ready to divorce on

Friday to be walking together the next day like two young lovers? The book you

have in your hands is the Love and Respect message this couple heard. Their

account is one of thousands of letters, notes, and verbal affirmations I have

received that testify what can happen when a husband and wife take a different

approach to their marriage relationship.

Do you want some peace? Do you want to feel close to your spouse? Do you

want to feel understood? Do you want to experience marriage the way God

intended? Then try some Love and Respect!

This book is for anyone: people in marital crisis . . . spouses headed for

divorce . . . husbands and wives in a second marriage . . . people wanting to stay

happily married . . . spouses married to unbelievers . . . divorcées trying to heal .

. . lonely wives . . . browbeaten husbands . . . spouses in affairs . . . victims of

affairs . . . engaged couples . . . pastors or counselors looking for material that

can save marriages.

I know that I am promising a lot, and I wouldn’t dream of doing this unless I

fully believed that what I have to tell you works. Following are more examples

of how marriages turn around when wives and husbands discover the message of

Love and Respect and start living it out daily:

It has been one year since we attended the Love and Respect conference. It is the single most

powerful message on marriage that my husband and I have ever heard. We constantly find

ourselves going back to the principles we learned that special weekend. We sit on the couch

together and walk through C-O-U-P-L-E and C-H-A-I-R-S and see where we have gotten off

track. . . . We have such incredible joy in trying to do things God’s way and then seeing Him bless


Just a few days ago I decided to tell my husband that I respect him. It felt so awkward to say the

words, but I went for it and the reaction was unbelievable! He asked me why I respected him. I

listed off a few things, and I watched his demeanor change right before my very eyes.

I am sad that I have been married twenty-two years and just now understand the Respect message.

I wrote my husband two letters about why I respected him. I am amazed at how it has softened

him in his response to me. I have prayed for years that my husband would love me and speak my

love language. But when I began to speak his language, then he responded with what I have


The above letters are typical of those I receive weekly, if not daily, from

people who have gained wisdom by understanding the one key verse of Scripture

that is the foundation for this book. No husband feels fond feelings of affection

and love in his heart when he believes his wife has contempt for who he is as a

human being. Ironically, the deepest need of the wife—to feel loved—is

undermined by her disrespect.

Please understand, however, that what I have to tell you is not a “magic

bullet.” Sometimes the glow a couple feels at one of our conferences fades in a

few days or weeks, and they succumb to the same old problems—the Crazy

Cycle. I like to advise all couples who learn about the power of Love and

Respect to give it a six-week test. In that time, they can see how far they have come and how far they still have to go.

The journey to a godly, satisfying marriage is never over, but during three

decades of counseling husbands and wives, I have discovered something that can

change, strengthen, or improve any marriage relationship. I call it the Love and

Respect Connection, and my wife, Sarah, and I are taking this message across

America. We are seeing God work in remarkable ways when men and women

submit themselves wholeheartedly to this biblical design for marriage. We see it

working in our own marriage, where we are still discovering new blessings as

we use the Love and Respect Connection to touch each other.

If you and your spouse will practice the Love and Respect Connection, the

potential for improving your marriage is limitless. As one wife wrote:

I wanted to let you know, I GOT IT! God granted me the power of this revelation of respecting

my husband. . . . This revelation . . . has changed everything in my marriage—my approach, my

response, my relationship to God and my husband. It was the missing piece.

For so many couples, respect is, indeed, the missing piece of the puzzle. Read

on, and I’ll show you what I mean.

Love story
Love guru

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