Baskadia

All you have to do is be you, and I fall.

Like dead weight.

Only, this is the most alive I’ve ever been. Forgive me when I downplay the joy that I’m feeling. I don't mean to.

That’s just my fear talking.

That’s just old wounds whispering warnings. That’s just my knee-jerk response from a heart still healing.

I say things like,

“I know it won’t always be like this”,

and you shrink into yourself.

Your smile wilts like a dying rose that was full a moment ago.

My pain swallows the sun,

and I tell you I hate myself for projecting.

Your kindness refuses to allow me to speak to myself that way,

and I fall all over again. And again.

And again.

And I swear to you, I would go through another decade of wrought, hell, torment, and heartbreak,

if I knew you were the reward waiting.

You're my gift for not giving up when it’s the only thing that made sense.

This is the greatest version I’ve ever been,

and I’m still accepting myself, it seems.

I’m not sure how you did it,

but you laid your hands on all my broken parts and showed me they never actually were.

"Dead Weight"

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