Baskadia

(This is mom and dad)

Before the pandemic reach the world, we lived a normal life. We could do things without restrictions. We can travel, and do many chores without fear and we can finish it in just one day.

And every day is fulfilling day to us without fearing for our lives. And every day, we can mingle physically with others, we can enter the grocery or department store with no temperature check. We can freely do out business. And, Covid hit. It changed our perceptions of life.

The things that we have taken for granted before, we can’t do it anymore, because of Covid. The whole world stops and it seems that even time stops for us. There was restriction in travelling the airlines, hotels, restaurants,factories everything was restricted and closed temporarily but only except to those essential that is very important to us like rice, Canned goods, meats, vegetables and many more.

The government will deliver to us through those people or person who are authorized to go out. And you can't easily just go to another place because every place has a uniformed personnel who will inspects your documents. But what really hurts a lot is when we lost our love ones in the time of Covid. It really hurts us to witness our dear one to struggle against covid. We can’t even hug, kiss or take care of them because there are restrictions. Millions of lives have been lost and that includes my mother.

Our mother who was strict, caring, clingy, a good adviser, and a loving mother and a wife. She fought the battle against covid for 13 days, and after 13 days she lost the battle and went home to our creator. The world was tested. Our faith was tested. Everyone was tested.

It tested everybody’s loyalty, faith, and most especially our love for each other.Though we cannot seen this enemy but once you're infected there will be a battle between life and death.

The loss of our mother has a big impact in our lives. Even after her death we couldn’t hug or touch her because of the strict protocol of the hospital. The church was also affected because of her death. And God is good because in the midst of everything, we have a Church members who are willing to serve God.

At first it was father who got sick first at that time and because of that we did not let him join the Sunday service and we also want to protect the church members. And our mother takes care of dad at that time. I still remember it happened during the month of July which is not very strict at that time and people can gather but with physical distancing, facemask, and hand Sanitizer.

I was a housemaid before to my mom’s elderly friend for two years I have a small salary but it was big help for us because we can buy some essentials and medicines for our father. As a family we decided not to hospitalized our father, because we believe that he will be fine. and we don't want that all of us will be quarantined just because our father got sick.

He got Covid, his temperature will come and go, got sore throat and he wasn’t able to taste anything. He felt that all the food that mom prepare for him is bland. It was a very difficult time for our entire family because almost all of us have a fever and the sickness seems like circling in our family. My older sister was restricted to come to our house because She was working that time. My siblings, dad and even our mom also had a fever, but she copes up with it and that showed how strong our Mother is. And during that time I wanted to take care of her so much but I was at that time staying my mom’s friend who I worked for, she is old and is prone to get infected with the virus. All I have to do is pray and talk to them through video call.

And many of my parents’ friends sent them foods, fruits and medicine which really help us a lot. But we lost our mother to the covid. She wasn’t able to survive it. The most painful thing is that we weren’t able to hug her as a farewell. We were quarantined.

My mother suffers from a urinary tract infection. My employer agreed for me to go home and take care of my mother. We were struggling and we have decided to not to hold a Sunday service so that we can take care of our mother, the good thing is that everyone agreed to it. We took care of our mom for almost 2 weeks because she didn't want to be hospitalized.

It's was a pity if you look at dad during that time, because he looks so stressed and he hasn't slept properly since he’s also watching over mom. We all got up to pray for mom and did everything for her well-being. We family decided to hospitalize mom because she can't take it anymore and that's when the actual battle between life and death started. We can't see this enemy but there is a very high possibility that it will attack us no matter what age you are, rich or poor, it doesn't choose.

It is a deadly unseen enemy that can also take your life. And during the 13 days I was in the hospital, I was very tired, I felt weak because I was the one who was inside. Not only me but also my father, my brothers and sisters. My mom and I had a really hard time when we were inside because we couldn't go out, and we couldn't take a nap inside because of the safety protocols that were followed by the hospital.

And everytime I need to check mom's oxygen and also there is a doctor who checks on mom and injects some antibacterial. At that time, my siblings were in quarantine, 3 of my younger siblings were negative and 2 are positive. Then, our older sister is at her workplace which is also close to ours. Fortunately, they were provided with basic essentials at home. And when I was there in the Hospital, I've experienced and saw someone else die and fight for their lives. And there I saw that our mother is really a great fighter. But the only bitter thing is that she died when I slept.(This was taken when she wants me besides her and the last time that I could hug her)

She signaled to me that I should sleep next to her. And I thought about it, that mom was just trying to be clingy . But, that was the last hug I gave to her, she died without even leaving any last words, my father and my brothers were not there to hug her. When mom was still alive, she really requested to let our dad in. What hurt was that he would be banned if he did enter, we even talked to the doctor about it. My mom and I just cried. We made a video call with dad outside. Maybe the Lord intended for me to put us to deep sleep because I really don't know what to do if I wake up then I will witness the loss of our mother. It did not sink in to my mind that our mom was already died.

She gave up, she chooses the life with our creator I know she's happy now and she’s in no more pains. After that I was also in quarantine, although my father is also in quarantine, his result was negative and he was quarantined for 10 days. I was quarantined because I was the direct contact, and I tested positive. When I was quarantined there, I felt depressed and sad, I couldn't taste food, I had a sore throat and temperature that will come and go. (This was mom when she was working abroad)

I took care of myself alone. I blamed myself for losing our dearest mother during my quarantine period. What if I hadn't slept, maybe she would still be alive now. I keep crying and keep repeating the events in my dream. I was weak. But the bad thing also that makes us worthless is that when we got out from quarantine, the people who come to us are scared. While writing this story I couldn't stop my eyes from shedding tears.

(This is me and her when we where attending a seminar)

Even, it was almost 1 year ago, the pain and loneliness are still lingering. But, no matter how much we cry, our mom will never come back. We lost a mother, someone lost a beloved daughter, and someone lost a wife and a partner.

And lastly, we have to accept that there's no permanent in this world even our life. What I learned from that event is that while your love ones are still there, we must make time and share a good or bad moments with them because we don’t know what will happen in the future and also to face the challenges in life stay strong and be courageous in life. And the most important thing is to surrender everything to God.