Baskadia

I'm tired of this fight

Stop making me your punching bag
I am worth more than that
I am not your door mat
I am not something you can use
Then abuse when you are done
Thrown out
Like yesterday's garbage
When you no longer need me
I'm tired of this fight
That you have already won

I feel and I ache
Until my bones feel broken
And it gets difficult to move
I sit in agony
Knowing I am not what you desire
Knowing that it is just a matter of seconds
Until you rip out my heart again
Until you shoot me with another bullet
That destroys me all over again

Please stop
I am tired of this fight
It's war between you and I
And I never win
Even when I do

My heart bleeds when I reminisce
On what you used to be
And the monster you have become
Destroying everything it touches
And leaving nothing but scraps of my body
For wolves and hyenas to feed on

You think that I am selfish
You don't see the battles I fight everyday
You don't know what happens inside my head
I have two monsters picking at me
You
And the one inside my head

I am in a constant battle

I'm starting to fear your voice
Because every time I hear it
It's no longer soothing
But like knives hitting a target
Why do I have to be it
You don't know me anymore
You think that you do
But oh, if you knew
I am tired of this fight
It's war between you and I
And I never win
Even when I try