Baskadia

Oh dear universe…

Lying on my bed,

Looking up to the celling.

To my right the sky,

Asking myself …

What message are the clouds trying to pass??

Depression takes over,

Spring of emotion overtakes my mind.

Regretting every step I took and over..

Where did I go wrong ?.

Should this have been this?!

Deciding not to mind the wrongs

Tears flow down my cheeks down to my pillow

My nose all red and I hiss.

Love wasn’t my calling ,

I’ve been hurt .

And so I decided not to love,

Something else I had in mind…

“I will not care so I don’t hurt”.

But now that something else is making me cry

Feeling used and taken for granted

Same feeling I was running away from and now I’m prey.

What did I do wrong?

Where did I go wrong?

I’m I the cause?

I had never had luck with love but couldn’t the universe see my pain and just help me this once!.

I’m broke …

Constantly thinking of how to earn something

Making my family proud of anything

Depression slowly kicks in

All this feeling to much for a 7teen

Sometimes suicide is on my mind

Prolly end this life and continue the next

Who knows,maybe that place is better once inside

Everyday talking to nature

Help me with some kind of break through

Begging not to go deaf but… does she think I’m immature

The universe is not on my side

Even if it is I can’t see the sign

Why does the world hate me

Why is my case different

Help me with a fucking sign!!!

But I’m no loser

I find solutions to every problem

that’s what keeping me going

I don’t give up

It would just make me a loser

So I’m going fight and see where life got me ending up

Life isn’t fair

I know that now

The least I can do is trust the process…