Baskadia

Over the years, many people have had many misconceptions about feminism; most people assume it as an all- female movement that is working towards female supremacy and “emasculation” of men whilst others take it as a platform where heartbroken, divorced, and unhappy women use to drive their hatred and despise for men. A few others also see all feminists as black sheep in the society who should be avoided.

But then what really is feminism?

Feminism is a social political movement that advocates for the rights of women in the society, it does not deny the huge biological difference between the sexes but demands equality in opportunities, that is, what is good for the goose, is good for the gander. It simply connotes to involving women in everything, every time, everywhere.

In most communities in Africa, women are being deprived of their basic human rights, such as: the right to education, right to freedom of speech, expression and choice, right to buy or own a property etc. Women are seen as lesser beings and these rights are only reserved for the male population.

Women are also discouraged to be ambitious, optimistic, outspoken and successful. I remember a conversation I had with my elder brother few years ago and he was telling me how he would want to have a car, his own house and be extremely successful before he was done with his university education. A very excited and over-ambitious me then said “me too” he looked at me worriedly and said definitely out of concern, ‘don’t try it though, it will discourage any man that would want to marry you in the future’, and then went on about saying how it’s in men’s DNA to always be in charge and in control and they wouldn’t want any woman that is more successful or wealthier than them as a partner. To say I was shocked by the reply would be a lie because I half-expected it.

Men, young boys as little as five had been taught by the society that they are always supposed to be on top, above women in everything, it has been engraved in them and also, right from a tender age, more preference has always been giving to them in the society. In an average African family, there is this huge preferential treatment showered on the male child that seems to be absent on the female. There are even cases where a broken marriage erupts because the woman only gave birth to female children alone and no single male child. Then there are some myopic and ignorant men who would lash out on their wives for not giving birth to a male child not knowing that it is their X-Y chromosome that is responsible for whatever is the gender of their offspring and not the woman’s X-X homozygous ones.

I went on to reply my brother, quoting chimamanda’s exact words in We should all be feminist “That any man who would be intimidated by my success is exactly the type of man I wouldn’t want to end up with” and then I began wondering, was marriage all there is to a woman? Grow up, get married, give birth and that’s all? Is that how limited we women are? And if you try to argue or say your mind then they would start reminding you and mentioning names of women that are highly successful but unmarried till date.

In addition to all this, the rise of domestic violence, rape and sexual harassment is on the increase. Like I said earlier, women in Africa are being treated like lesser beings. People see it as a normal daily occurrence to see a woman being beaten by her husband, and when they go over to the man they would ask questions like, what did she do? What did she do? And then go on pacifying the man to calm down and forgive her for whatever she has done wrong. As if it is the woman’s fault that she has an abusive partner, neglecting the fact that it is the man at fault and hence by doing this now, they are inherently, normalizing domestic abuse. Of course, many women have to keep quiet and hide the abuse so as to continue being the good, homely wife they are known to be. Most women have died from abusive husbands and sometimes nothing is being done or said about it. The man goes about his normal life and maybe remarries after a month or two. Then, when a woman who has had enough decides to leave an abusive partner or a marriage that isn’t working, the society would term it as her not being able to keep her family, always making it to look like the woman’s fault for any unsuccessful marriage.

Also, it is no longer safe for girls to walk alone at night or even in the day because of the increasing cases of sexual harassment and rape. Adult women, teenage girls, even little girls have had to live everyday of their life in trauma because of the rape and abuse they had gone through. We’ve heard cases of fathers raping their little daughters, neighbors, family friends and relatives taking advantage of girls that were put under their care. Sadly, most of these girls do not have anyone to turn to and this could drive them to depression which could in turn lead to suicide.

Moreover, most community decisions are made by only the male population, who believe women don’t have anything to offer and are only supposed to be in the kitchen or be taking care of their children neglecting the fact that most innovative and world-breaking ideas that foster productivity in the world were made by women. During towns’ meeting, village discussions and even appointment of chieftaincy titles or any worthy position in the community, women are put on the railing and allowed to be only spectators because of the belief that men know more than women. But is that really true? Who stated that notion? Do women really have lesser IQ than men?

Now, biologically speaking, women are just as intelligent as men when given the opportunity. So then why the inequality, why the unfairness, why? I know quite a number of female friends who would want to be males in their next life, if ever there is a next life, not because of any other thing but because they wouldn’t want to go over the ills, the hardships and neglect that females face daily due to the societal injustice that abound around them. Imagine not being given a scholarship because you are female, imagine not being given a political appointment because of your gender, imagine not being given the job of your dreams just simply because you are not a man. Just imagine!

It is quiet appalling though that a lot of friends, families and well-meaning relatives have called me aside, asking and begging for me to call my feminism quit or tread on it gently so as not to mar my future. . My mum still laughs, saying I’m still small and don’t know what I’m saying and that that is not how things work, whenever I tell her I would want to marry a man who wouldn’t see me as someone who would wash his clothes, sweep the house and cook his meals only as if I was married to be a slave but someone who sees me as someone who he can share responsibilities with, someone who he would be a companion to, someone who he could share parental duties with.

So then, if everyone then treads cautiously, neglecting the fight for feminism then all the efforts our founding heroes had made would all go down the drain. Most founding feminist didn’t live to see their declaration of human right sentiment fulfilled, maybe I wouldn’t live to see this cause but one thing we should bear in mind is that we are not fighting for our selves alone. We are fighting for our children, for our unborn generation of females, for them to enjoy a life were their gender wouldn’t matter or be a hindrance to the opportunities they would have, for then to live in a world of social justice and equality. Where women are treated just as equal as men with no objection whatsoever.

In conclusion, this is a call for all, for everyone in Africa , irrespective of gender, ethnicity, tribe, race or religion, for everyone to join hands to make feminism a reality, to make equality and social justice to be the order of the day. So that one day, maybe a female president would emerge in one or more of the fifty-two countries in Africa.