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Michael T. Bell, Ph.D has been working with couples affected by ADHD since 1999. He also has ADHD himself. In The ADHD Marriage Workbook, he draws from his own successful problem-solving as an ADHD adult and husband.
"A very useful book for professionals and consumers! The many exercises that are included in this book permits couples to tackle their joint concerns in a planful, systematic manner . . . I highly recommend this book to couples who are willing to take a serious look at their behavioral patterns and to develop a plan of corrective action!"
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Book ID Asin: 0963878468
Book Title: The ADHD Marriage Workbook: A User-Friendly Guide to Improving Your Relationship
Book Author: Michael T Bell
Book Format and Price:
Book Format Name: Paperback
Book Format Price: $21.95
Book Format Name: Spiralbound
Book Format Price: $25.95
Book Price: $21.95
Book Category: Books, Health, Fitness & Dieting, Mental Health and unknown
Book Rating: 31 ratings
The ADHD Marriage Workbook: A User-Friendly Guide to Improving Your Relationship by Michael T Bell Book Review
Name: Heather
Rating: 1.0 out of 5 stars
Title: This is NOT a book to help couples figure out marriage issues that relate to ADD
Date: Reviewed in the United States on November 5, 2018
Review: I had such high hopes for this book, considering the couple of good reviews where they seemed to have actually read and worked with the book. Yeah well... that was a mistake. Yes, I have ADD and yes, my spouse & I are having issues, some of which relate to my ADD and some of which do not. However, I have been trying to find good resources for us to work through them since our work schedules make us unable to go to therapy as a couple. So, I ordered the workbook & waited, hoping that this one might actually be one that would help us figure out and work on our issues, since I thought it was geared toward helping couples work on issues when one has ADD. That could not have been further from the truth.
First of al, the book is horribly outdated. The publishers page says it was copyrighted in 2012. However, one big giveaway that this was written ages ago is when he talks about Adderall XR having been released "last year" when it was released in 2001. He also only ever references the DSM-IV when discussing diagnosis & symptoms, but DSM-V was released in 2013 and those criteria and symptoms have been updated and revised.
This is not a "couples" workbook. This is a self-help workbook for a spouse that has ADD to try and make themselves a better partner for their significant other. It's not about the two spouses identifying issues that arise from the one's ADD and determining together how to fix the issue. It is completely geared toward the premise that the ADD spouse has issues they need to fix and the non-ADD spouse is pretty much perfect and doesn't have any issues of their own that need to be worked through. Except for the first section where he recommends the spouses both complete the rating of which areas they think are important and the section about sexual intimacy, where it asks questions like what's your fantasy sexual experience & what would make sex life better (but at the same time admonishes them not to give an answer that would make your spouse uncomfortable) and has spaces for your response & your love's response. Even the premise behind the whole "Love Bank" section is that the ADD parter will have far more emotional "withdrawals" from the Love Bank, so they need to make more effort making "deposits" to make their spouse feel more loved.
The entirety of the workbook is full of victim blaming and exercises to make the ADD person see where they are screwing up and how they can fix things. Prime example was a "real life" couples excerpt about a couple where the ADD person had become a stay at home mom and agreed to take on all the housecleaning duties as part of their "agreement" for her to stay at home. Problem was that she hated mopping & dusting, so she avoided doing them by finding other things to do, going to see her mom, her sister, etc. Ok, sucks, but if you have ADD you KNOW what hell on earth it is to to be made to do chores that you despise with a passion (i'll avoid folding laundry till the day I die). But his conclusion at the end of the example? "The reality was that Emily's avoidance of a few chores that took a relatively small amount of her time per week was triggering events that were placing the relationship in jeopardy. How much easier would it have been to just fight through the avoidance and do the two hours' worth of chores?" (direct quote, page 51) Again - victim blaming anyone?
So, as I said in the title to this review, this is NOT a workbook for couples. This is a workbook for an ADD person to use when they're convinced that their ADD is the root of all the problems in their relationship and they think that answering a bunch of questions will give them the insight to "fix" their ADD and suddenly have a perfect marriage.
While I do write reviews of the things I order on Amazon, I have never wanted to write a lengthy review detailing what I liked or didn't like about a product. I love reading them (both the 5 stars AND the 1 stars) and think they often help me decide on what I want to buy, but I just never have the mental time to sit down and write one myself. However, my reaction to this "couples workbook" after I read through it (and yes, I read every word in it) was such that I felt it needed better details about what the book offered for those that were thinking about getting it.
Name: elleemann
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: GOOD LUCK
Date: Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2018
Review: A great idea in itself, but how many ADHD spouses will actually DO their part of the book? Not mine, even though initially, he was interested. Nothing new.
Name: zebrafinche writes
Rating: 4.0 out of 5 stars
Title: good format
Date: Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2013
Review: I'm someone with ADD (no hyperactivity) married to someone with ADHD. I haven't finished the workbook yet, but I'm finding it very helpful.
Name: J/SVazquez
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Great book though
Date: Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2018
Review: Bought this about a year or 2 ago, and with true ADHD fashion, i have only done about 1 exercise. lol. Great book though.
Name: Kathleen Boeger
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: It's challenging to get a husband with ADHD to actually ...
Date: Reviewed in the United States on March 8, 2017
Review: It's challenging to get a husband with ADHD to actually complete any workbook, but it is helping him see how many areas of his life are affected by ADHD
Name: Gary G.
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Very useful information (for those who can concentrate long enough)
Date: Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2016
Review: I bought this to share with clients. It's a hit.
Name: abe Subia
Rating: 1.0 out of 5 stars
Title: One Star
Date: Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2015
Review: good
Name: Susan Elder
Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars
Title: Five Stars
Date: Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2014
Review: Good read!
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